


Walking a Mile

by Melifair



Category: Captain America, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor - Fandom
Genre: Awkward Boners, Bodyswap, Darcy is very talkative, F/M, Masturbation, Natasha Romanoff is a caring troll, Natasha Romanoff is a world class troll, Self Voyeurism, Sexting, Shieldshock body swap, Slow Burn, Steve is really starting to hate being on the receiving end of misogynistic bullshit, Super soldier stamina with all that it implies, Tumblr Prompt, Well...kinda, awkward and bizarre meet-cute, awkward discussion of consent, if that’s a thing, is that a thing?, its a complicated situation, lots of dick references, period mention, rating likely to go up, rating officially went up, unintentional sexting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2019-11-05 20:17:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 23,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17925635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melifair/pseuds/Melifair
Summary: Steve and Darcy have never met, but they wake up in each other’s bodies to deal with situations they weren’t prepared for, and learn what it really means to walk in another persons shoes. Hilarity and bodily functions ensue as these two awkward failboats get to know each other and learn perhaps they have more of a connection than just a body swap.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This whole thing was a tumblr prompt from the trolltastic Lostdaemon we all know and love. And it’s funny because I have another fic in the works which is like the complete opposite and then he goes and throws this idea at me and well, I guess my brain was feeling it, so I ran with it. 
> 
> I’m not sure how long it will be, I have been posting to tumblr, but as it progresses further, I will likely post the rest here because it’ll probably become more nsfw than it already is lol
> 
> Anyways, this is the original prompt: Steve/Darcy bodyswap, when they've never even met. Does Darcy even recognize bearded Steve as Cap? 
> 
> I have been posting live as I go, so all of what goes up on tumblr has been un beta’d, but I will likely touch up things as I post here :) 
> 
> I know a few of you guys have been following on tumblr, but for new readers, I hope you enjoy! And for everyone as it progresses further, I hope you enjoy!!!!

Darcy has always been a curious person. She’d never been particularly shy about her body - at least with herself. She didn’t always like some of the attention that it garnered from some men. But she wasn’t shy in learning about her body in practical and private ways. 

So when she’s woken up by an unfamiliar feeling, she discovers that the weirdest thing going on was not in fact the apartment - bedroom specifically- that she did not recognize, but was in fact the stiff peak under the sheets in the general vicinity of her nethers. 

A brief moment of panic ensues, but she musters the courage to lift the sheets and is greeted with some very impressive man bits that all of a sudden twitch under her scrutiny and cause her to scramble out of bed and rush to the opened bathroom door because what the ever loving fuck.

She reached the bathroom far faster than she knows her body can normally move and is stunned when she flicks the light switch and is met with the mirror image of definitely NOT herself. And she can’t help but gawk, because holy freaking hot damn. 

The man - oh what a man - that is staring back at her is ridiculously attractive. Tall, perfectly proportioned muscular body that’s like a Greek statue come to life. Perfect fucking skin, gorgeous eyes, lucious lips, magnificent beard, and hair that she just wanted to run her fingers through and startled herself even more when her arms - his arms? she didn’t know the fuck who’s arms - reached up to rake his/her fingers through said bed head. 

“The fuck….” 

And her mind was blown as it mirrored her spoken sentiments because holy shit his…her????? voice! 

She wasn’t sure what to do. She was apparently in someone else’s body. How was that even a thing??? What was she supposed to do??? Her eyes shifted down to the thing that had woken her up in the first place and as bewildered as she was, she was even more freaked out by the torn and stained Captain America uniform that was discarded on the bathroom floor. 

And she looked up at her reflection once again, eyes wider as she took him in once again and realization and hit, “The fuck?!?!?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Tumblr readers and new readers! 
> 
> Thank you to the wonderful feedback!!! You guys are all so kind! 
> 
> I wanted to let you all know that there’s about 5 or 6 parts or chapters already written and I will be posting here daily, so everyone doesn’t get overwhelmed with a bunch at once and miss parts.
> 
> I’m also working on the latest part, that hasn’t been posted at all yet anywhere 😉 
> 
> And finally, Lostdaemon on tumblr is the original prompter, and he’s brainstormed with me quite a bit, so there’s no shortage of ideas 😁 
> 
> He also is responsible for the title!

She wasn’t sure how long it took for her to process the fact that she, Darcy Lewis - lab assistant extraordinaire, was somehow in Captain America’s body. His naked body at that. Naked and yep, still rigid. And that was an entirely freaking bizarre feeling, one she wasn’t quite sure how to feel about it. Much less what to DO about it. 

The towel rack caught her attention, and she quickly snatched one because on top of being bewildered the fuck out, she also had the little niggling feeling that she should preserve his modesty. Like, this was uncharted territory, but still she had some modicum of common decency. Most days anyways. 

While the towel seemed like a good idea when she saw it out of the corner of her...shit...his eye, she discovered what men go through with just the barest touch, and promptly dropped the bath linen and just stood because she wasn’t sure how to deal with Captain America’s hard on and...she just had to figure something else out. 

Time typically was a screwy thing when weird shit went down, so she had no idea how long just stood there, but a buzzing sound brought her out of her latest internal freak out, piquing her curiosity to go see what it was.

Once she reached the source of the noise - his phone - she sat down as delicately as she could and decided not to move any more because walking was an entirely far more awkward experience than she could have ever imagined. And that was saying something, given her experience with boobs and anything more than a leisurely stroll. 

But the phone! The phone gave her an idea! 

It’s alarm going off was what had gotten her attention, but now that she held it in her hand, she realized that she could call herself! So she did. 

Though, it went straight to voicemail. So she dialed again, with the same results. 

“Dammit...” 

Man, it was weird hearing his voice speaking her thoughts...

Maybe she...or he was still asleep? After all, it was only 5 am. Wherever she was anyways. 

At a loss, she just stared at the phone until a text popped up, causing her to jump nearly out of her/his skin. Partly because she wasn’t expecting it, and partly because was from her number...


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to post late! I had a rough day at work, but then I had dinner with my dad so that made up for it 😊
> 
> Thank you again for the wonderful feedback! It really brightens my day and puts a smile on my face when I read your kind words ❤️ 
> 
> I’ve got a busy weekend ahead so I will be continuing to post what I already have daily, and working on the nexts bits in my spare time. 
> 
> Enjoy!

*hello woman in my body?*

She raised her brows, because what a way to start a text convo. 

It was him. In her body, sending a text to his phone from hers. If this wasn’t the most fucked up Freaky Friday kinda shit, she didn’t know what was. Like this took the proverbial cake. That and the fact that she thought she’d be safe sitting. Sitting was supposed to make the little Captain be less of a distraction. And then she remembered his balls.

Well, if he could throw that whammy at her, while she was still contending with his stiffy, then tit for tat as they say...

*Captain America I presume?* 

There was no immediate reply and she wondered if her greeting was a bit too bold, until a call came through, so maybe not? 

She didn’t know what she was nervous all of a sudden, but she swiped to accept the call nonetheless.

And now it was even weirder because in her mind she could hear what she wanted to say in her own voice, but she got stumped in her greeting by his body croaking out a hoarse ‘hello?’ 

It was like her mind was prepared for her own sounds, sounds she had become intimately accustomed to her whole life, and instead she was making his sounds and the absurdity of it all just stopped her from her usual cheeky demeanor. 

“Who are you and where are you?”

Wow. Direct and to the point. And it took her a back a little because she’d never heard herself sound so...commanding. She typically would describe herself as sarcastic and occasionally whiny - though she felt like she was growing out of that latter. 

“Uh...” Fuck, it was still weird talking with his voice, “I’m Darcy and I’m in you...apparently...and you’re in me...and that didn’t sound right...”

There was a brief silence before he spoke again...with her voice... “I meant where do you live? Where am I right now?” 

“Oh, gotcha...D.C.,” she accessed the maps on his phone, “looks like you’re in New York, which...aren’t you like a fugitive or something? Isn’t New York like not exactly under the radar.”

“Trouble has a way of finding me no matter where I am. Case in point, our current problem.”

“Hey, I’m not some government lackey,” she whined, which sounded really weird in his voice, “but speaking of trouble and problems...you wouldn’t by chance know how to undo this, whatever this is, because you are having a physical situation that I feel wholly unqualified to handle.”

“What do you mean?” He made her sound bossy and urgent, “what kind of situation? Are you being attacked?”

“Uh...no. Not being attacked. Very alone right now. And very naked...wow and congratulations by the way.”

The line was silent, so she continued in a rushed jumble of words, “anyways your dick is hard and I don’t know what to do...”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok guys! Once again thank you so much for all your kind words and wonderful feedback!!! I cherish it to a degree you don’t even know!!! 
> 
> So, I know that a lot of you guys have been wondering about Steve’s POV, and while this fic was just becoming its own thing rather organically, this seemed like the best spot to get a glimpse of what is going on in Steve’s head. 
> 
> I to have two more parts or chapters already written and ready to go, and the POV does shift. It’s pretty easy to tell who’s thoughts we are seeing though ;) 
> 
> I’ve also already got the first little layout of part 7 written and I know EXACTLY what part 8 will be, so I hope everyone enjoys and stays tuned!

Steve was simply frozen by the words she, Darcy, just uttered using his voice. 

Not only was he stunned at the blunt way she communicated her dilemma, but he was gobsmacked at the implications of this young woman - whose reflection stared back at him pink face and wide eyed - being trapped in his body and having to deal with his bodily functions. 

“I...beg your pardon...”

Maybe he misheard her. After all he was in her body and it was not super powered - her poor eyesight and need for glasses proving had proved that right away. As far as he knew.

“Uh...” she started again, she did that a lot, “your dick is hard.”

Nope. He heard her - him but her - just fine. Which meant her hearing was fine. And she kept going when he didn’t immediately respond, “like as in your little Captain is at attention...when I woke up you were pitchin’ a tent...”

“Okay, okay, I got it..” he had to say something to get her to stop talking about his dick.

“Sorry, it’s just...kinda like woah...and I tried to cover it up and discovered that was a bad plan on my part because you dudes really...yeah let’s just say covering it up isn’t an option right now...”

And before he could finish processing her words, she started to ramble on again.

“But...how long do you think this is going to last? This whole swap thing I mean, not your hard on. Well, maybe that too, because if this switch doesn’t go back right away, then like what am I supposed to do about it? Wait. Does your super powers make it worse? Because then we have a big problem.”

Of all the things to have happened to him, of all the things he could hear with his (or her) two ears, this was out of the realm of possibility. And yet here they were separated by a couple hundred miles, in each other’s bodies, and she was telling him that she had his erection to deal with.

“I...worse how?”

“Well, how am I supposed to know? I’ve never had a dick! Much less a hard one! And like I don’t want to seem like, I don’t know...but my experiences with penises is kinda limited despite what most people tend to think.”

He didn’t know what to say to her experiences with genitalia of the opposite sex, because his own was fairly limited. So he did what was natural to him and deflected. 

“How did this happen? Are you enhanced?”

And apparently he caught her by surprise because she didn’t answer right away, but when she did she was indignant. 

“Don’t you try to change the subject mister! Your situation isn’t as delicate as mine!”

And before he could get another word in, not that he had gotten that many in, she hit him with a whammy.

“By the way, since I’m not sure how long this is going to last and because you are Captain America and I’ve read about you and what you stand for so I feel like I can trust you because I don’t really want to die from toxic shock so...I’m gonna need you to change my tampon.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys! I’m literally so excited over how much you are enjoying this! 
> 
> I am not a confident writer at all, and I question everything that I write. Sometimes to the point that I will not write for like months or years at a time. 
> 
> And I know that this isn’t like classical literature or anything, but your compliments and kudos give me life! ❤️❤️❤️
> 
> Here we have a little more of Steve’s POV 😁 and I hope it doesn’t seem tedious, the parts or chapters are fairly short so I just kept getting ideas and thinking what could possible happen, how would they react and so on.

“Your what?” He squeaked. He actually squeaked. 

Granted it was her voice, but still. Just when he thought it couldn’t possibly get weirder. 

She was...her monthly...

“Tampon. Feminine product. I mean it’s probably the last day based on how my cycle has been this year so, lucky you! You didn’t have to deal with my cramps, or bloating, or sore boobs. And I know I probably shouldn’t have gone to bed with a tampon, but I was out of pads and I have no idea what happened to my cup.”

Not that he could ever have anticipated being in a woman’s body...but even if he had ever thought for a moment that something like this could happen to him, he’d never thought of all the things that could possible. Much less a woman’s body during that ‘time of the month’ as most of the women in his life referred. 

It wasn’t like he was a stranger to women’s menstrual cycles. He didn’t know everything about them, but his mother had been a nurse and she had made sure he knew what women went through every month. He had been young, but she didn’t want him to get any young women in a delicate condition. Even though at the time he was skinny and sickly and no one of the opposite sex would pay him any mind, she still made sure he knew. 

“I know what it is...” he explained somewhat slowly out of sheer bewilderment, “I just...this isn’t something I thought would ever happen...”

She snorted. Which sounded odd coming from his own body, “Same dude. I don’t think anyone is ever prepared to switch bodies.”

“So...” Steve hedged, “there’s something up...THERE? I don’t even feel anything...”

She snorted again, “That’s kinda the whole point. I mean, like who wants to walk around and sit and whatever and feel something move inside you. And believe me, pads are convenient and all but don’t let them fool you, no matter how thin they are they still feel like diapers.”

“Uh...” 

It was a lot to process. And most of what she said was just background noise to the fact that he now knew that there was something up inside of her body - and he was in her body so that meant it was up inside him - and she said she didn’t want to die so he could only conclude that if it didn’t come out then there were dire consequences. Either that or she was being over dramatic. 

“Are you okay?” He heard her ask, bringing him out of his thoughts.

“I...uh...how do you get it out? What if I...I don’t really feel comfortable touching you without your permission.”

She sighed, though she sounded amused at the same time, “Look, Cap, I can call you Cap right? Yes, it needs to come out otherwise I’ll get very sick, and there’s a string, just relax and pull gently, don’t like yank it out. And I’m giving you permission. Besides all you have to deal with is the tampon... I still have your boner and I kinda hope that it’ll just go away. Like...” her...well, his voice softened, “it’ll just go away right?”

He’d been so distracted by the fact that he was having to contend with her womanly stuff, that he’d almost forgotten his erection she was dealing with, even though she had just said so. And that, as she’d asked before, the serum did affect him libido...

“It’s Steve. I think we can be on a first name basis at this point...” he felt like it was time to just deal with their immediate situations, and then they could figure out what to do from there.

“Okay. Steve, I still...”

“I know. I know. I...” he wasn’t sure how to put it less crudely, “it won’t go away. I’m giving you permission to take care of it.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys continue to just absolutely give me all the joy with your wonderful comments on this wacky little fic! 😘❤️❤️❤️
> 
> I know there’s a lot of anticipation 😁 and we are getting there! But there’s also the all important issue of consent. I’ve always been very nervous of the body swap trope because I was never sure of how to deal with the topic of consent. And then it just kinda hit me, what would two rational (as they could possibly be in such a situation) adults do? They’d address it 😊

He was giving her permission. He. Was. Giving. Her. Permission.

He was telling her that if she did nothing, it really wouldn’t go away, right away anyways, she gathered. Which made her wonder what the hell was in that serum that made him this...this. 

“Darcy?” 

She cleared her throat and really couldn’t do much beyond that, because he was giving her permission to have her way with his body and that was just...

It wasn’t like his situation, because pulling out a tampon was not a sexual thing in the least. He was giving her the okay to...

“Steve...I can’t...don’t cold showers work for you?” She asked, almost pleadingly, her voice (or his...) sounded small, “I don’t feel right about it...this is your body.”

He was quiet for a moment, but when he answered it was gentle, like the way he had just said her name in an unspoken question if she was alright. 

“I know...but I’m also reading about toxic shock and I’m not liking what I see. My body heals itself rapidly, but yours...I don’t want you to get seriously ill because I don’t feel right about messing with your...intimate places.”

She smiled. She couldn’t help it. He was kind of adorable in the way he talked. Trying to be all appropriate with his words. 

“You can say vagina, you know,” she felt a little more lighthearted now that she knew he was having similar feelings, and joked lightly, “I might have to smack you if you call it a flower.”

He laughed. It wasn’t big, or drawn out. And it was in her voice, but he laughed. 

Up until that point, he had been very direct...or very careful with his words. But the one commonality was that he was serious. And understandably so. This whole situation was weird as fuck and it was probably his way of making sense of it all. Where as she tended to ramble and joke and use unabashedly crude language. 

But it was nice to hear him laugh - even if it was her laugh - it was a little glimpse of his personality beyond what she had experienced so far of his rigid demeanor. 

“So...are you really sure there’s nothing else that’ll make you...go soft?” And it finally struck her, “By the way, how often does that happen to you that you end up stuck with a persistent boner that the only thing you can do it jerk off?”

He cleared his/her throat over the line and simply said, “...that’s personal...”

“Well not so much anymore if I’m going to have to do it for you...”

He was quiet again, and she was kicking herself internally until he admitted, “Most nights. It was definitely a side effect of the serum.”

Well then, she now knew something about Captain America - Steve - that she’d never in a million years would have guessed. And she still didn’t know how this whole swap thing had happened, or how long it would last. If it lasted more than a day, then...we’ll, she’d cross that bridge when she came to it.

“Uh, ok then...this is going to be so weird...are you really sure you’re okay with this?”

“I...yes. I’m trusting you, Darcy.” 

Well, shit. There was only one thing left to say, because if this was what life was dealing to her right now, then she needed a fuck ton of privacy. 

“Ok. So then...” she exhaled heavily, “we both hang up, do our thing...and call back in an hour? Is that...enough time?”

He cleared his...her throat again, “That’s fine...one hour.”

“Deal?”

“Deal.”

And with that the line cut off.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can’t say enough how much you guys and your kind words mean to me! 😘❤️❤️❤️
> 
> So, I just wanted to let you guys know that the first few chapters are pretty short because they started on tumblr as a response lol. At the point I’m at now, they are double in size. 
> 
> This whole thing has been written very loosely. I’m letting ideas lead me to the next part. With a little help from Lostdaemon, though some things might be too scandalous to end up here 😂 
> 
> Anyways! I hope you guys are still enjoying this crazy lil fic! 
> 
> Ps. The next chapter after this one is a doozy! 😁

It was quiet. Now that she wasn’t rambling on a mile a minute. Maybe too quiet.

Even if she was one of the most loquacious people he’d ever heard (which made it all the stranger hearing it come from his own voice), she had a witty sense of humor with a rather frank delivery, so it honestly didn’t bother him. 

Still, she was a stranger to him, but in the brief conversation they had, he got a pretty good sense of what kind of person she was. 

Knowing that she did not like the idea of touching his body, even while she was in it, gave him some kind of...reassurance that she wasn’t a deviant...as well as a sense of her moral compass. 

He breathed in deeply, knowing that like he had entrusted her with taking care of his body’s aroused state (he tried not to think too much of it...even just the thought of her...his hand gripping his cock made his/her cheeks burn), she too had placed her trust in him to deal with her feminine care. 

Steve shook his...her head, trying to banish the thought of her in his body...doing what he gave her permission to do...

The bathroom. He needed to get to the bathroom. 

Unlike the apartment he was in, where the bathroom was attached to the bedroom, he had to venture out of her room and across the hall. When he felt for the light switch and flicked it on, he couldn’t contain the laugh that escaped his...her...mouth. The shower curtain straight ahead was plain and ordinary except for the black, bold font letters that read - wake up, poop, take shower, be awesome. 

“You are something else...” he mumbled to himself with an amused shake of his...her head. 

Now that he was in the bathroom, the reality of the situation set in and he could only stare at himself (rather her face...) and ponder exactly how to go about this...tampon removal.

She had said that there was a string, and his mind immediately thought of those old puppets where you pulled the string and the arms and legs would flail about and...he knew that that wasn’t the case at hand, but still. 

He was still holding her phone, and it suddenly came to mind to look up how to remove a tampon online. Which may have been a mistake because the first result he saw was ‘Don’t Panic’.

He raised his...her brows because easier said than done. 

So he instead looked at her reflection in the mirror, and couldn’t help but really take her in. She was quite beautiful. Her hair was a mess of dark curly waves and she had light blue eyes and full full lips that his...her tongue licked out...one of his own personal ticks, but it’s startled him to see her body do it. 

With a shake of his...her head, he looked down. He knew that he’d have to remove her clothes - at least her cartoon cat pajama shorts - in order to accomplish what he needed to do. 

“Sorry, Darcy.” He felt compelled to say it, knowing that she wouldn’t hear.

Hooking his...her fingers in her shorts - and underwear - he pushed them down her hips (her curvy hips...smooth skin...) and sucked in a breath at the sensation of the cool air on her bare skin. It was an odd sensation. Something that he could recognize for what it was, but was still a foreign feeling with body parts he was unaccustomed to. 

The bottoms fell to the floor and he noticed a red spot on her panties and - not that the situation hadn’t been real before, because it was - but it was very, very real now. He’d never had to deal with blood from private places before...

The string wasn’t apparent, at least from his current vantage point, so he bent forward, parting her legs slightly, though getting distracted by her breasts as they hung unsupported in his line of sight. Her top was low enough that it drooped in a scoop that exposed her nipples to his gaze.

“Fuck...”

He had to remind himself to focus. He had a mission at hand, it wasn’t time to get caught up in ogling her body. 

“Here goes...” and he reached between her legs and sure enough, he found the string.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok guys. I know this part is what seems to be anticipated. 
> 
> With that being said, I want to preface this with the fact that I’m VERY unsure and insecure about writing smut. I haven’t written a lot of it tbh. Personally, I’ve never had sex, so I’m literally trying to imagine what it would be like. And throw the whole body swap thing into the mix lol 
> 
> I try to approach it as best or accurately as I can. I do research lol, but still. 
> 
> I hope it comes across well, I do have more things for them to experience down the road in mind 😁

She didn’t know how long she sat there, but frankly it had felt like an eternity. 

Her heart...well, his heart, hammered in her ears as she contemplated what she had to do. 

It’s not like she had never given a hand job before - and not that she’d given them prolifically - but she was usually on the giving end of it. Not the receiving. And definitely not fucking both. 

She tried to wrap her mind around the fact that right now, the body she was in had a dick and she was consciously going to touch it. Like she had pleasured herself in her own body many times and knew exactly what it took to get off, but...masturbation in someone else’s body...

Her thoughts went back to the incident with the towel, and she subconsciously swallowed, because holy hell, just that little brush of fabric. If she was gripping and...all that came with it...

Her - more specifically, his - was practically heaving from the rampant thoughts running through her mind. And it was just enough of a distraction for her to take a deep breath in and out, and notice the fine dark golden hairs that covered his chest - even the distinct and mesmerizing swirl. It trailed lower and lower over his defined lower torso to the base of his cock that still strained under her gaze. 

She knew it wasn’t her body, but goddamn if she wasn’t getting turned on even more by it. Which was weird as fuck, but at the moment everything in her life was weird as fuck. 

“You can do this. You can do this. You’ve done this before.” She tried to tell herself, even if she knew it was weird to be talking out loud to herself, “because if you don’t, Captain America will have to seek medical attention for an erection lasting more than four hours...”

One more deep breath and she gathered the will to move her...his hand. She was just about to take him in hand when she stopped just short, letting his hand rest at the sensitive groove where his hip met his upper thigh. 

It was a safe zone. For now anyways. Just near enough for her to collect herself and all her courage, but not all the way there. Not to mention that it felt really good.

She stroked the skin there, feeling something stirring in his body that she couldn’t quite put her finger on, but gave her the irresistible urge to stroke back up his cock on the return and...

“Holy fucking shit...”

He was sensitive as hell...and she couldn’t help the way her/hips bucked right into her grip. 

All of the thoughts that had swirled around her mind about how impossible any of this could be were effectively banished as pleasure quelled through her as she stroked back down, urging her to repeat the motion slowly, gasping as each slide of her...his grip built up those wonderful and electric sensations that were so familiar and at the same time so...fucking...new.

In the back of her mind, she knew the goal she was chasing - the ultimate culmination of utter bliss that had her pumping her...his fisted hand around his dick faster and faster. His body...her brain wanted it so bad that even the force and friction of his hands wasn’t enough and she collapsed back on the bed, the opposite leg involuntarily propping itself up on the edge to give enough leverage to thrust his hips. 

She heard a moan and it took her mind a second to realize that it was her - his voice, but her nonetheless. And...fuck, she was hearing Captain America moan. She now knew what he felt when he jerked off on an apparently regular basis. And sudden unbidden but sinfully divine images of him going hard and fast and slow and sensual, flooded her sex addled thoughts, and it caught her by surprise...

Because she didn’t know what a male orgasm felt like until she was grunting - actually fucking grunting - and spilling hot thick cum across his body...and probably the bed...

And it was all too much and she could only lay there as the pleasure and the shock wore off, cock still in hand and still firm.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I sound like a broken record, but like seriously THANK YOU guys!!!! 😘❤️❤️❤️❤️
> 
> I always get so nervous with smut, so I’m glad to know that it reads well. 
> 
> Now, these two are still learning about each other, physically and emotionally, even though the whole situation was just forced on them. They have more shenanigans in store, but in my world Shieldshock is always happy ending. I hope everyone sticks around for their misadventures in body swapping lol 😂 
> 
> And again, Thank you for your wonderful feedback!!!! 😘❤️❤️❤️❤️

A text popped up all of a sudden. It’s buzzing sound cut through the blood rushing through her...his ears, startling her in the post orgasmic silence that she wasn’t quite sure how to deal with. That, and the fact that he was still kinda hard. 

It buzzed again and she reached for his phone that had been left tossed unceremoniously to the side when she had first sat down to contemplate and agonize over the task that was supposed to solve some pretty immediate problems, only to illuminate new issues that she hadn’t been prepared for. And had it legit already been an hour? It couldn’t possibly have been an hour...

How much time did she spend, before she...

Just as she had suspected it was from her number.

*its Steve. It’s out...* it read, followed by, *not sure what to do now*

Her mind was so acutely aware of some things - like the slowing rhythm of his heart and the odd sensation of his cum as it settled in the hairs that trailed down his torso causing her to pull at the sheet (it was dirty now anyways...) in effort to clean it off of him. She furrowed his brows, because it should be obvious what he needed to do...except...maybe it was for her...but for him...

“Aw shit...” she shook his head and dialed her number.

It picked up on the first ring. 

“Darcy?”

“Yep.”

He was quiet for a moment, “Is...this a good time?”

And she couldn’t stop the laughter that burst out, “Oh my god Steve, you sound like a prospective employer...”

“Well I could’ve just asked if you were finished wanking me off, but that seemed a little impolite.”

Well damn. That was some high quality sass right there. 

“True, true,” she chuckled, “so...”

He cleared her throat - he did that a lot, she noticed. 

“What do I do with it?” 

She felt her...his brows furrow as she tried to decipher his meaning. Surely he wasn’t talking about the tampon. 

“What are you...you mean the tampon...please tell me that you flushed it.”

“Uh...”

“Steve! You can’t possibly be this clueless!”

“I assure you I can.” Wow, they sure didn’t show this side of Captain America on the news...

“I like the sarcastic side of you by the way.” 

He didn’t say anything right away, but she could hear the faint sound of her toilet flushing over the line, “...thanks, I think.”

“Definitely, dude. Sarcasm is one thousand percent my jam.”

She had no idea why she just said that, because the subsequent silence was even more deafening than before. Maybe this new revelation into his personality was getting all jumbled with the climax she’d just experienced. In any case, she tried to push that thought back and break the awkward tension in the only way she knew how - with direct bluntness. 

“Now you need to put a new one in.”

More silence. “

“Hello?”

There was a muffled cough, “I...yeah...what?”

“Well, I really don’t want to bleed all over my clothes. And seeing as I can’t really do it right now, being swapped and all...”

He didn’t say anything for a moment, but when he did speak up, he was quiet, “I’m not sure how to do that...and that involves more touching than before...”

“What do you think I just finished doing?” She countered, “if I can do what I just did, you can do this. There’s even instructions in the box.”

She heard the rustle of paper and assumed that he had just pulled out the instructions, “this looks very complicated...”

“I promise you it isn’t,” and then she had a thought because of what he just said about being clueless, “have you ever...aside from me...touched a woman before.”

“Yes. And it’s not THAT...I don’t want to...hurt you.”

Oh. That was...strangely sweet of him.

“You don’t have to worry, just go slow. Maybe freshen up a bit before you start. If you feel like you gotta pee, better do it now before putting a new one in. Do you want me on speaker phone? I can talk you through it. I know I was nervous the first time I used a tampon...” she was rambling again, “I was like 13 years old, there was a pool party and shark week was not about to ruin my adolescence, so I decided to suck it up and do it. Took a few tampons to get it right...”

“Uh...I think I should try in private...”

“Ok, I’ll be here cleaning up your sheets if you need advice on technique or anything. And by the way, you are still hard. You didn’t tell me you have like no refractory period.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!!! ❤️ You continue to astound me with your feedback and it warms my heart so so much! I will continue to thank you until...well, I don’t know when lol 😂 
> 
> I did want to address a little detail that I didn’t really think anything of when I was writing. It was honestly just a little nugget to effectively convey Steve and Darcy’s phone conversation. 
> 
> I did not mean to upset or distract from the story with the inclusion of the tampon flushing. I hope in the big picture, everyone can still enjoy this wacky little fic as it progresses further along. And to remember that even characters aren’t perfect, and they might do things that don’t align 100% with what we do in our personal lives. 
> 
> Darcy is a young woman who had a last resort box of tampons because she was out of pads and couldn’t find her menstrual cup. She also just swapped bodies with Steve 😂 and is trying to guide him as best as she can, as she had been guided by the women in her life ❤️

“I’m sorry...?”

There were just too many things that could distract a mind when one swapped bodies with someone else. Especially when that someone else was a woman. 

Mainly, there were new body parts to contend with. And new sensations. And not that he had ever put that much thought into what would happen if he ever woke up as a woman, but it wasn’t necessarily all pleasant things that had to be dealt with, voluntarily or not. 

Since the moment he woke up in her body, there were a lot of emotions and thoughts that raced through his mind. Not one of which was his refractory period. Or the fact that Darcy had to deal with it. 

“It doesn’t really come up in conversation much...”

“Not even with any partners?” 

He hadn’t really had that many sexual partners to make it one of those things you talk about before jumping in the sack. Sure there had been a few chorus girls, and Peggy, and a few discreet shield agents after he woke up in the twenty first century. And the usual reaction was surprise and more sex. Not really much in the way of discussing the effects the serum caused to his libido.

“There haven’t been that many...wait, we’re getting really personal here...”

She scoffed, “Its not like we are in each other’s bodies...” but then softened, “and there’s nothing wrong with talking about sexuality.”

“I know...” he sighed, “I just, spent the majority of my life in a time where that kind of talk wasn’t out in the open. It was private.”

And before she could say anything, he added, “I know that doesn’t really apply today. At least not as strongly...but I’ve only been in this century for seven years.”

She was quiet for a moment before replying, a warm understanding in her tone, “Okay, I get you.” 

He wasn’t sure what to say after that, “I should get to it then.”

“Ok,” and then she added, “when you freshen me up, make sure you wipe front to back.” 

He was stunned speechless for a moment. God she was blunt.

“...got it.” And with that he ended the call. 

Not that he meant to be rude, but...he was already nervous about the fresh tampon scenario, and then she had to go and say that. He shook her head, and pushed her glasses back up her nose (they slid down a lot). 

With a heavy sigh he looked more closely at the details of the tampon guide, thinking to himself that the little pictograms were a little too elementary. But at least the instructions were succinct. 

“I can do this...” he tried to convince himself, and in the back of his mind all the women that had some kind of influence over his life seemed to be reminding him that as a man, he in fact did not know better than Darcy, and that he should follow her advice. Especially with her body.

“Pee...front to back...find a comfortable position and relax...” he mumbled and breathed in deeply, “one step a a time...”

Steve wasn’t even sure if he...her body had to pee, but it didn’t hurt to try. After all, he was already in the bathroom with no bottoms on. Her loose tank top with the same cartoon cat as the shorts and bright pink and ridiculously fuzzy socks, were just the icing on top of the whole ridiculous situation. 

Her choice of sleepwear was not the priority though. If anything, his duty was to make sure she was safe. Being inside her body and all. Which meant that he had to take care of her, he reminded himself. Even her most intimate stuff. 

So he sat down on the toilet - he knew that much - and his first instinct was to bear down from the bladder and...okay, maybe she did have to pee. And what a weird fucking sensation. 

When he reached for the toilet paper, her words echoed in his mind...front to back. And so he did as he’d been told as quickly as possible. The faster he took care of this...the better. 

Just to be on the safe side, he read the instructions once more - and left them unfolded on the edge of the sink to his left. He may have had an eidetic memory in his own body, but the details of what he’d already read was fuzzy around the edges, even though he had grasped the general concept. 

“Ok...” he tried to reassure himself, “I’ve fought aliens from outer space...more than once...this can’t be that hard...”

He took a deep breath, holding the tampon like the pamphlet said, and reached down only to pause, uncertain for a moment, because he knew he had to spread her lower lips - and he’d done so on occasion with partners over the years (maybe not in a while recently), but this time he was jarred to know and experience exactly what it felt like...


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys SO SO much for your continued love and support! I’m really having a blast writing this crazy lil fic, and so glad you guys are enjoying it ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
> 
> I’ve got about 5 or 6 of the next ‘episodes’ if you will outlined, though it’s kinda loose. I’ve tweaked things already along the way as I have been writing, just because it fit and it flowed and it lead on. That being said, I have a little twist coming up soonish that I think everyone will enjoy, so stay tuned! 😉
> 
> As always, enjoy! 😘❤️❤️❤️

Practice made perfect was a concept that he had heard repeatedly during his younger years - and on the few occasions that he could afford art classes. Usually the phrase was reserved for things like drawing, or dancing, or whatever else his mind couldn’t supply his with an example at the moment...

Mostly practical things. Things that were acquired skills needing to be honed. 

Apparently inserting tampons was one such thing for women, because he went through three of the little bastards before getting it in just right. 

He didn’t hurt her. When anything had felt...weird he simply stopped and started over. If anything, he was left with her sore leg and arm muscles from trying to hold a position too long. Which is something that wouldn’t have been a problem in his own body...but in hers...well, it reminded him once more that he had to take extra care with her body. That, and his own small and skinny days. 

Steve huffed after all was said and done, knowing it was best to get dressed again. But as he grabbed for her underwear the red spot of blood stood out against the light blue fabric. And given the battle of the feminine products that he just went through, he could only assume that those products weren’t one hundred percent full proof. 

Snatching both the panties and the pajama bottoms off the floor, he made his way somewhat awkwardly back to her bedroom (the air in her apartment was cool and it made him very aware of and strangely tempted to touch her bare backside). The cat shorts seemed ok, but the panties, he promptly tossed them in her laundry bin near her dresser where he could only assume he’d find new ones in the top drawer. 

It did suddenly seem odd, as he pulled the top drawer open, to be going through a woman’s underwear drawer - especially a woman he barely knew. But his circumstances were extenuating. And based on what he did know about her this far - her insistence that he take care of her menstrual care...as well as her reluctant willingness to handle...quite literally...his hard situation - he had a feeling that she would be okay with him getting her some new panties. 

What he hadn’t bargained for - in addition to everything else - were the sex toys and an opened pack of batteries nestled amongst the colorful fabric of her intimate apparel. 

He wasn’t a stranger to sex toys. They weren’t exactly a new invention. Although they had gone through more innovative development in the last seventy odd years. Tony - when they had been on speaking terms - made sure to make it his ongoing quip to ‘educate’ Steve about sex and all of its peripherals because he labored under the belief that Steve was a ‘well mannered and pure Boy Scout’. So needless to say, Steve had seen some pretty out there adult products. He also went along with long-standing joke for the hell of it - acting scandalized when he really wasn’t. 

But the glaringly bright dildos and vibrators sitting innocuously in Darcy’s drawer were...personal. She actually used them. 

Steve had a pretty active imagination, and despite his struggle in the bathroom just prior...he couldn’t help but envision her laid out across her bed pleasuring herself with one or more of the devices. She was curvaceous and buxom and the bits of her body that he had inadvertently gotten a peak of only drove those thoughts further. 

He shook his...her head. Somewhat shaken by how rapidly his mind devolved into inappropriate imaginings of the woman whose body he was in. Now was no time for that. There would probably never be time for that. He was supposed to be looking for underwear to replace her sullied ones. Not thinking of her. And definitely not letting that dark little corner of his consciousness wonder what sex would be like with her. 

All he was looking for panties. That’s all. Just some panties. When he opened the drawer, he had been expecting underwear...maybe some bras...socks...but no. He got sex toys too. 

He snatched the nearest rolled up pair (he guessed she rolled them for more capacity) and shut the drawer a little more forcefully than necessary. 

With a shake he unfurled the panties - they were dark blue and cotton...he wasn’t being particularly choosy when he had grabbed them - and turned them around this way and that to make sure they went on correctly, only to stop...stock still...when the image of his shield emblazoned across the crotch seared into his minds eye. 

“You gotta be fucking kidding me...”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!!!! I’m sorry for posting late tonight! I had an evening shift today at work and just got settled in at home 😊 I usually can post earlier on days when I work morning shifts, so I’m kinda bummed that all my shifts next week are evening 😒
> 
> I think I say this everyday, but thank you so much for your feedback! It makes my day and puts a big smile on my face. I definitely am th8nk8ng of you guys when I’m writing this crazy little crack fic 😁😘❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
> 
> So, remember when I said there was gonna be another twist? 😆

Darcy hadn’t really been offended when he hung up on her. Actually it was something she was kinda used to when she rambled a little too much. 

One of her best friends growing up (before they fell out of touch) did it. Her new bestie, and all around most incredible scientist ever - Jane - did it. Hell, even her own siblings did it. 

So it was no shock that Steve did. 

It was clear that he wasn’t as frank (at least not always) as she was, and that some topics were just enough to cross a little line that made him flinch back into his comfort zone. She suspected it was partly because he was a product of his generation - regardless how progressive he was or how much time he had spent in the twenty first century - he still had internalized feelings about certain subjects and their appropriateness for friendly conversation. 

Given his abrupt end to their call, Darcy wasn’t one hundred percent sure if she was okay to deal with his persistent boner. He hadn’t said anything about going back for more, and she wouldn’t have wanted to break his trust in her, but she couldn’t keep on with it begging for attention. In any case, she had offered to guide him through the steps of tampon insertion, so she assumed he would be okay with it. After all, he did say that it wouldn’t go away unless attended to...he just didn’t say how much attending to was required. 

So, after more masturbatory experience in a man’s body than she ever thought she’d experience in her life - being completely honest, it wasn’t even a blip on the radar of possibility until it actually fucking happened - she discovered (at least at this point) that his body needed three orgasms to get it out of his system. Going on basic scientific theory level of experiment ion...further conclusions would be deduced if this swap business lasted longer than a day.

After her wanking duty was over and his dick had finally grown soft to hang heavily against his thighs - which was a totally weird fucking feeling that she was sure made her walk even funnier than she had when it was hard - she grabbed the sheets and balled them up in a moving box that he’d been using as a laundry hamper. She didn’t know what laundry facilities were around and quite frankly it was not a top priority compared to getting him clean and dressed. 

Shower time in Steve’s body, however, was an interesting new experience on top of all the interesting new experiences she had experienced since she woke up in him. For one thing, he was hilariously tall for the shower, which made her wonder absently how he felt being short. But probably the most interesting thing was the way the spray of the water slid down his form - more specifically how it traveled through the hair on his chest and legs and arms - the hair at the base of his cock...

“Nope! We are not doing THAT again! At ease lil’ Captain!” She rinsed as quickly as possible, nudging the cold water just a bit higher, hoping that the cooler temperature keep the lil Captain down. Or at least discourage excitement.

It was still a weird feeling when she stepped out of the shower, because the movement of an not erect dick felt very odd, and floppy (the man was hung...), and the closest thing she could compare it too from her own personal experience was running without a bra. 

“We gotta get you contained, dude...” she commented as she looked down at his offending man bits. 

She toweled off as she normally did, wrapping one towel around her...his head, and another around her...his body only to bust out laughing when she caught his reflection in the mirror. 

“I gotta get a picture of this!”

She snickered as she left the bathroom to grab his phone that she had moved to the little bedside table when she shucked his sheets off to be washed...at some point. All she knew was that she wasn’t sleeping in his mess...well she supposed it was hers technically...but it was his body so...

Reaching the phone, her...his thumb pressed to automatically unlock the lock screen, ready to access his camera to snap a memento of the priceless towel get up, when a text notification illuminated the screen. From only a few minutes ago. And not from her number. 

It was from someone named Nat, and it read mater of factly, *we got a new mission*

She was confused for about half a second, until the gravity - and reality - of those words sunk in.

“Well shit...”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I will continue to offer my eternal gratitude for all the support you show me and this little fic! I wish I could actually hug each one of you 😘❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
> 
> So, Steve and Darcy have had to deal with and learn about a lot of private matters thus far. It was only a matter of time for the more all encompassing factors of their lives played a part 😁 
> 
> I know I’ve been posting daily, because I’ve been writing 2 and 3 chapters ahead. I’ve had a very busy weekend at work, and I’m going to be mainly evening shifts all next week. I will try to continue the pace, if I skip a day, please don’t worry. I will have the next part up soon, it just means I got bogged down with work.

Looking around her apartment, Steve now noticed little things that demonstrated her affinity for not only him but the Avengers as a whole. Well...certain Avengers. Himself included. 

The deeper more instinct driven corners of his mind grabbed hold of the idea that there had to be some kind of connection - there had to be some cosmic reason that this whole ordeal of body swapping had happened. Though, the logical side of his mind - the side that processed the stranger than strange things that had occurred throughout his life - kept insisting that no matter how batshit insane this whole situation was, it was only a coincidence. A strange fucking happenstance - on top of all the others - that he had become conditioned into just simply ‘going with the flow.’

So he shoved the thought of a more-than-coincidence scenario from his mind. Because that’s all it was. Panties and all. 

It still didn’t stop him from noticing his shield as a button on a bag sitting on the floor at the corner of her bed. Or the Hulk nightlight in the electrical socket nearest her door. She even had a toy replica of Mjolnir that looked like it had been covered in craft store gems and glitter. It had bright pink sticker letter that spelled out ‘mew mew’ and he couldn’t help but laugh, because it really wasn’t an easy name to say.

“You certainly aren’t dull, are you?” He said with rhetorical amusement.

It was still relatively early, and he was suddenly feeling tired. Which was unusual for him, because he would normally just stay up and head to the roof of his current apartment safe house. There was some old gym equipment up there. It wasn’t ideal, as he’d really prefer to run. But the way he ran was a little too conspicuous, and so he had to lay low and resort to other forms of physical exertion while he was off the radar, as Darcy had put it. But despite his sudden fatigue, there was one nagging thing that pressed at his curiosity.

So instead of climbing into her bed, he knelt down to look in her bag, which felt weird with the tampon - despite Darcy and the instructions telling he wouldn’t feel anything...maybe it wasn’t in quite right after all. The next time he spoke to her, he’d ask her for alternative solutions to the tampons because he really didn’t want to go through that again. He knew the one in there would need to come out eventually, which was fine since the getting it out wasn’t as...trying...as getting it in.

Steve wasn’t an intrusive person. He was one to respect boundaries, unless someone pushed his and pissed him off. So, he didn’t want to intrude upon Darcy’s life anymore than had already been forced upon them, but he also needed to see if anything would help their situation, no matter how much of a long shot. All of this lead him to look in her bag. It was typically the first place to look for a wallet.

Her bag and it’s contents were as eclectic as the room he was in. Shuffling through, he could see some loose coins and tampons, several hair ties, an extra pair of glass, a journal, a multitude of different colored pens, a taser, and the thing he was looking for...her wallet. 

Just as he was about to open it, her phone went off. And seeing as it was still relatively early, he was pretty sure it was her. 

Sure enough, his number was lit up on the display, and he wondered what it was that made her call him this time. It had been a while since he hung up, and he hoped she still wasn’t dealing with his dick...

“Darcy?” 

“Oh hey...” she greeted casually, though she sounded a bit nervous, “so...someone named Nat is texting you...”

“Shit...”

“That’s what I said!” and she chattered on, “I mean, at first I thought that it was like a lady friend of the significant other persuasion, because Nat is probably a woman, right...but then she was talking about a new mission, so I assume then that Nat is one of your super friends?” 

His mind was automatically trying to come up with some kind of way to deal with this new development, because there was no way he could do anything in his current state. It would not be fair or safe to Darcy - no matter how he looked at it. 

“And we probably should figure out something fast,” Darcy continued, “because I didn’t answer her and now she’s says she’s coming here. Right now. As in where I am...still in your body.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thank you guys again for all the love and support you give me and this crazy little fic 😘❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
> 
> I’m a little out of it, feeling like I’m getting a cold or something. But I wanted to get this part up for you. I may be responding to comments sporadically because I feel myself drifting off right now 😂 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy! It’s perhaps a little different than expected. At least that’s how I felt when writing, but I think it works much better than what I had been originally thinking of. When I really thought of these characters, I wrote what made sense 😊

“Shit.” Steve cursed more vehemently. 

She sighed heavily over the line, “Same dude.” 

“Fuck...” he tried to think of what to do, but was coming up blank. 

Knowing Natasha, they were damned if they did and damned if they didn’t. No matter what they did, how they acted (not that he could prematurely judge Darcy’s acting skills), or how much they tried to ignore or deflect, Natasha was going to find out, sooner rather than later and in some way or another. 

In all the years that he’d known Nat, he’d never ever been able to fool her once. And now she was headed to his apartment safe house, with Darcy holding residence in his body. 

“Are you even allowed to say fuck?”

“What?” Her question caught him off guard, “and shit is better?”

Darcy was quiet as if she was contemplating his retort, “I was just teasing. I tend to do that when I’m nervous...anyways, fuck is totally legitimate in this situation. Shit too.”

Over the years, he found that the best way to deal with Natasha, was to not try to beat her at her own game. She was the master spy, where as he was not. And she told him so on many, many occasions. 

“I’m gonna have to call her,” he decided out loud - not only for Darcy’s sake so she would know what was going on since this whole new predicament pertained directly to her, but also for his own nerves.

“Like now?”

“Yes, like now. Before she gets to you.”

“You say that like I should be scared...” she sounded wary, “who is Nat?”

“Black Widow.”

“Ah...” she tried to sound calm, but in his voice he could tell it was an act, “gotcha. Then now is good. Go call the deadly spy that’s headed my way. Good plan, my man. Man with the plan. I’ll just get dressed and be a nosy guest until I hear back from you or she shows up to kick my ass, by the way, I am a soft and squishy sort of person who has no natural defense mechanism aside from the taser that’s in my apartment with you right now. Just thought you should know. Because I don’t think my best Steve impersonation would pass by the super spy.”

“Darcy, it’ll be fine. Lemme just talk to her before she gets there.” He tried to reassure her.

“Weren’t you the one that was just saying shit and fuck?”

He sighed, “more so about how I’m going to explain this whole thing.”

“You say that, but I somehow don’t believe that’s how it started.”

He shook his head in amusement, “Go get dressed. And why am I still naked?”

“No comment.” And with that she hung up. 

He halfway wondered what she mean by that, but he had more pressing concerns at the moment. And thankfully, he remembered Nat’s contact info, despite being in Darcy’s body, where his own serum enhanced memory did him no good. 

With a quick deep breath to bolster his confidence, he dialed the number. 

It took no more than a few rings before his call was answered, and in true Natasha fashion, “Who are you and how did you get this number?” 

Natasha’s greeting was more of a demand than a question, so he knew that he caught her off guard. Only a few people contacted her directly through the number he’d just used. 

“Nat, it’s Steve.”

She didn’t say anything for a moment, and he could picture her silently processing his words, not that he blamed her. 

“Funny, you don’t sound like Steve.” 

He shook his head. That was Nat. To the point. 

“That’s because I’m in someone else’s body.” Like ripping off a bandage, it was probably best to get it out than to drag it out. 

Nat wasn’t an easy person to shock, so he knew she was taken aback when she didn’t respond right away for a second time. 

“I’m not sure what to do with that. If this is some kind of prank...”

“No! No! It’s not a prank. It’s really Steve. The person who’s in my body...her name is Darcy.”

“Do you know how ridiculous this sounds?”

“I know...but it’s true! That’s how I know that you’re on you way to my apartment. She got your texts and told me.”

She was quiet again for a moment, and he could only plead silently in his head that she believe him. 

“I guess I’ll have to see for myself.” 

And the line went dead.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thank you again so much for all your support and feed back! I truly love each and every bit 😘❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ 
> 
> I’m so sorry for not being on top of replying to comments, and that it’s taken me a bit longer to get this next bit to you. My work schedule is heavy on the evening shifts this week, so I leaves me less time to write before bed, which is when I usually get most writing done. I’ve also caught some little bug? I started with the sore throat a few days ago, and I was feeling pretty icky. I did keep writing though! Just not as quickly. I guess my brain was fuzzy. 
> 
> Anyways, this next part I knew was going to be a part of this crazy lil fic somehow, and it just seemed like the best place to fit it. I admit to some interesting research and a lot of giggling while writing 😂

Darcy tried to let the task of getting dressed alleviate her mounting fear. She had no idea what was going to happen - if Steve would get in touch with Nat...THE freaking Black Widow...let alone convince her. She just had to trust that he could. After all, he knew her better than Darcy did. 

With an anxious sigh, she pulled open the top drawer to the small dresser assuming that there would be underwear and as predicted, she was not disappointed. She wasn’t sure what to expect, seeing as her normally curious mind was clouded with worry over her possible guest, but if anything she would’ve pegged Steve as a briefs kinda guy. Boxer briefs seemed a bit too modern for him, but that’s exactly what he had. Lots of grey and navy boxer briefs. And the more she thought about it (because she didn’t want to think about super spies), it did seem like the better option under a super suit. No hemlines riding up for a super wedgie. 

“Alright then, blue it is...” she grabbed a pair and tossed the towel over top the small dresser. 

In all her life - even with the few sexual partners she had - she had never put that much thought into how men put on their underwear. She had just naturally assumed that the tag or label went in the back, and the legs went in the respective holes, and the wearer pulled them up. And in principle this was true, except...fucking penises. 

She had pulled up the boxer briefs until the waist band was just under his dick and things got...awkward...

What the hell was she supposed to do with it? 

Did it go up? Down? Sideways? Squished? 

Whenever she was in doubt, she tended to resort to the almighty search engine to at least give her a general nudge in the right direction. So she waddled her way over to his phone and keyed in her search - where does the penis go in underwear - unable to keep herself from laughing out at the absurdity of this fresh new scenario. 

Apparently, there were many ways that a dude’s bits could be arranged in his underpants. She read a lot about natural curve, and the seem of the underwear, and most men being smaller when flaccid...therefore in some cases the peen simply found its own most position and that was that. With the exception of porn sized dicks. And well...

Steve wasn’t grotesquely huge. But he was a big guy, and he was...proportionate. He definitely hung and it was now her duty to figure out he best fit his skivvies. Which meant more handling of his junk. 

“Ok, Steve...so...you are surprisingly ambidextrous...” she said as she flicked one handed through the various results, while experimentally cupping him to the side, “...is lil Cap too.”

Darcy tossed the phone on the bed, “I guess there’s only one way to find out...otherwise you are going sans pants for the foreseeable future...I wonder how you’d look in a kilt...you know so you don’t get arrested for being a fugitive AND public indecency...”

She felt like she needed more than two hands to wrangle him in place, but she only had his two. So she stretched the waistband of his boxer briefs out as far as they would go letting his dick fall where it wanted to go - to the left it seemed - and she discovered what the one result about seams meant when his balls had the wedgie...

It was a weird feeling. She must have done something wrong, so she reached back in and shifted things around until it felt more comfortable. 

“I am not used to having a bulge...” she said out loud, looking down at his crotch.

Just then a knock on the door made her jump nearly out of her skin, and remember her impending guest. 

“Fuck!” She hissed as she opened more drawers looking for pants and finding some sweats that would have to do, “Dammit Steve, you could have called to warn me!”

While she pulled on his sweatpants his phone lit up to show a text, from him saying that Nat was on the way.

“Yeah, no shit!” She hissed again, knowing that he wouldn’t hear her, “did she fucking teleport?!”

She rushed to the front door of the small apartment - once again surprised with how quickly she moved in his body - and hesitantly unlocked and opened it just a few inches, just enough for her to see a rather average height, definitely bleached blonde woman regard her with impassivity before shifting her gaze up, along with her brows...making Darcy realize she’d forgotten the towel on his head.

“Darcy, I presume...”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!!!! Thank you for your continued support and feedback!!!! 😘❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ 
> 
> I worked another evening shift tonight, even though I had this chapter mostly written. I still had to tweak a few things. 
> 
> For me, Natasha is difficult to write, so I hope I did her justice. And I hope you guys appreciate their interaction. 
> 
> I also realized, I’ve been writing this for like two weeks now, and not much time has passed in the story, but a lot has happened 😂 Anyways, we may be seeing a little time skip in some form or another to move these awkward failboats along 😁
> 
> As always, I hope you enjoy!

“Oh thank goodness! You believe us!” Darcy exclaimed in relief, opening the door wider to let Nat in. 

She didn’t say anything initially, though her brows were still raised and she blinked a few times as she got the full view of Darcy (technically Steve...).

With a little tilt of her head she replied, seeming to choose her words carefully, “I’m not really sure what to believe. By all intents and purposes this shouldn’t even be possible, but...this isn’t exactly a normal behavior for Steve, so I’m inclined to believe you.”

Darcy felt a little wary with that reply, especially with the way Nat regarded her, almost as if she was sizing her up. 

Then Nat grinned, and Darcy wasn’t sure if she should be relieved or scared, so she stood like a deer in headlights until she spoke again.

“Don’t worry. Steve is a horrible liar. He couldn’t make this up in a million years.”

“Oh...” Darcy couldn’t help but wonder to herself, just how close Nat was to Steve. 

Not that it mattered. It wasn’t like Steve would even consider her outside this whole swap thing. There was only camaraderie in their immediate situation and nothing more. She just couldn’t figure out why it bothered her when it shouldn’t. If Steve had a much deeper relationship with Nat than he let on, then that was their business. So long as Nat respected Darcy while she was piloting Steve’s body. 

“You just showered,” Nat stated as Darcy closed the door after her, “how long have you been like this?”

Darcy was surprised she could remember, usually details like that got lost in the general mayhem of what went on around her, but this she remembered because of his phone. 

“It hasn’t been a day yet, but it feels like it’s been forever.” 

And that simple admission made her realize how ridiculous her sudden jealously (if she had to give it a name) of Nat was. Darcy barely knew Steve. At least him as a person. She’d become VERY familiar with his body. More so than if he had been a one night stand (fuck...she could just imagine that...).

She did get little glimpses of his personality when they talked on the phone. And maybe it was just her, but she felt an instant connection - not in the literal body swapped sense - but more like she felt herself opening up to him like she would a best friend, even though their first shared words were only several hours ago. It was weird. And she felt a little guilty for feeling mother way she did, so she decided it was best if kept to herself.

“You’ve had time to get cleaned up after a little fun. You also had time for the fun.”

Of course she’d bring that up. 

“Dude! I woke up in his body and his fucking dick was hard! Do you know how fucking weird that is?! And like, I talked with him on the phone and he said it wouldn’t just go away! Something about the super soldier juice giving him super boners too. And the man’s got like no refractory period whatsoever, so it took a couple times and...I’d rather not get really detailed...it’s probably best if that stays private...why are you asking this by the way?”

Natasha blinked. Apparently she wasn’t expecting the response Darcy gave her. But she recovered her wits very quickly, back to her impassive demeanor in less than a second. 

“To get you to do that. You use millennial speech patterns and Steve can’t seem to shake his tendency towards World War II era slang.”

This whole thing was even weirder now that a third person knew. Darcy felt scrutinized in a way she’d never felt before and it was unsettling. 

“Where are you currently? Or rather, where is Steve?” 

“My apartment is in D.C.”

Nat quirked her head minutely and furrowed her brow as she considered Darcy’s response. “You probably want to finished getting dressed. And loose the towel.” 

“Okay...and then what?” 

“We’re taking a little road trip.”

“Woah, woah, woah...if this is that mission you were texting about...you know this is just Steve’s body right. Pilot Darcy has like no combat ability whatsoever.”

“No, the two of you are in no condition for a mission. But we do need to get the two of you to see someone that might be able to figure out what happened.”

Darcy was quiet for a moment thinking of how crazy this all was and how quickly Nat accepted it. 

“The towel gave me away, huh?” She pulled it off, finger combing his rather longish damp hair free of tangles.

“I kind of wish I snapped a picture.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends!!! 
> 
> I’m so sorry it’s been a few days since I posted last! I’m getting over this cold, I spent the day at Epcot this past Saturday, and all the other days I was working evening/closing shifts. But good news! I’m off for the next two days, so I feel like I can get some writing done! 
> 
> Thank you as always for your support and I hope I can keep delivering enjoyable chapters 😊
> 
> This one is a tad longer, than they have been. But each chapter seems to have grown since I started this thing 😂

It didn’t take long for Darcy - with Nat’s help - to pack up Steve’s bag with a few changes of clothing, the uniform, and some personal items that looked like they might be important to him. Nat had said that the apartment was more of a safe house rather than a long term living arrangement (which explained why it looked like someone had just moved in and didn’t have time to unpack everything). 

In any case, the things left behind were not essential to Steve and could be left behind, seeing as Steve would likely need to move on after they figured out this whole body swap business. 

That’s how Darcy had discovered that Steve had a particular affinity for tight shirts. She couldn’t let him go around in the uniform because it would draw too much attention. And the same could be said if he was shirtless. Even the smedium shirt she was sporting was enough to warrant a little more than a quick glance. And Darcy wasn’t the type of person to have people stare at her in a physical capacity - she was fine with attention due to her personality and outspokenness - but being ogled like a piece of meat was not something she was too crazy about. 

Which was why she immediately put on one of the few plaid button downs she found amongst all the tight, form fitting cotton tees and henleys. It had helped maybe a little around his middle, but the sleeves were practically bursting at the seems. His freaking biceps were ridiculous. 

“You don’t have to wear that in the car, you know?” Nat said as she looked out of the corner of her eye, keeping most of her focus on the road. 

“I know...” Darcy flexed her...his shoulders in some futile attempt to make the shirt roomier, “but I need room to get it off and he’s so BIG.”

She could see Nat smirk at her comment on Steve’s overall size, making Darcy immediately think of a certain part that she knew was big - and she was fairly sure Nat did it on purpose.

“Mind on the road and out of the gutter!” 

“I’m multitasking.”

“Yeah, well, driving is a singular tasking kind of task.”

“Most people can talk and drive at the same time,” Nat stated matter of factly, “besides, I don’t think of Steve that way, so who’s mind is really in the gutter?”

“I...don’t...” Darcy tried to turn the conversation around - she didn’t even know how it had gotten to where it was, “damn you are sneaky!”

Nat just smiled, an infuriatingly knowing smile, “It’s okay to be attracted to him.”

She wasn’t sure if Nat was being supportive and understanding with no strings attached, or if she was delicately testing Darcy’s responses for...well, she didn’t even know what. 

Darcy heaved a disgruntled sigh and rolled her (his) eyes, “I don’t even KNOW him.” 

“I’d say you’ve gotten to know parts of him very well.” Nat needled some more.

“Yes. Yes I did. And I’m not going into details.” Darcy gave her a look that she hoped convincingly conveyed ‘drop it’ to a former assassin without pushing it to far, “and that’s besides the point.”

Nat smirked again, “How so?”

“Goddamn, you aren’t going to drop this, are you? Is that your real super power? Unrelenting persistence?”

“No, I’d say that’s Steve’s. Don’t change the subject.”

“Ugh...the point is I don’t know him on a personal level. Like, intellectually. Not just physically.”

Nat was quiet for a moment, seeming to ponder what she had just said, “Do you want to?”

And that was the real question. 

She and Steve had been just kinda thrust into this whole situation without any choice in the matter. It was sudden and she couldn’t speak for him, but she was doing the best she knew how to do to deal with the ramifications of being in someone else’s body. She had to imagine that he was too. Because even though they were experiencing different things they had never experienced before, the one thing they shared was the fact that it happened with each other for some reason. 

In talking to him, she had formed some initial opinions, that she had very soon after adjusted as he opened up to her. At least it felt like he had opened up to her - it maybe came through in his sarcasm, and his determination to respect her, and trust her even though he had no reason to whatsoever. 

“Ultimately it doesn’t really matter, because I’m sure he just wants to get back in his own body and forget this fucking crazy ass shit ever happened.”

Nat was quiet and thoughtful again, and Darcy was sure she was going to come back with something else...some other little insinuation that she just couldn’t quite wrap her mind around, but a text came through from Steve.

*what do you normally use*

Followed by a picture of the feminine care aisle at the pharmacy near her apartment. 

*no tampons*


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! 
> 
> Thank you so so much for staying with me while I write this crazy lil fic even if my pace isn’t as quick. I appreciate your kind words and support more than you know!!!! 😘❤️❤️❤️❤️
> 
> As each chapter progresses, I find them getting longer and it’s taking me longer to write them (which I usually do for a few hours after work, and dinner and the pups are taken care of). My days off I generally get some writing in, but I also do normal life stuff I don’t have time for when I’m at work, of course. 
> 
> This little story had honestly grown much bigger than I thought it would, but I’m having so much fun writing each little bit that brings a smile to my face, and some that make me out right laugh! And when you guys tell me how much you enjoy it, or laugh, I genuinely am so touched and grateful ❤️

When Steve had heard from Nat that she and Darcy would be traveling to him he had felt relieved, nervous, and exhausted all at once. Relieved at the possibility of figuring how to get back to normal. Nervous at meeting Darcy face to face - which would be an odd encounter still being in each other’s bodies. And he had gotten so used to being in his serum enhanced body, that now that he was in Darcy’s, he was just so...damn...tired.

He didn’t think it would hurt to take just a little nap. Just enough that he wouldn’t physically feel her eyelids trying to close no matter how much he tried to keep them open. But he also didn’t want to oversleep...the warnings about leaving tampons in too long were ever present in his mind despite his growing fatigue. So, he set an alarm on her phone and collapsed on her bed, which would have been to soft for him, but was perfect for her. 

Once the alarm went off, he learned that she was not quick to be energized. He knew that in his body, he could be up and ready for anything. But in Darcy’s body, he simply did not want to move. He wanted to stay in the comfort of the spot that her body had confirmed to and bask in the feeling rather then get up and face anything. Especially another round of tampon removal and replacement. 

But he begrudgingly got up and did what needed to be done. Thankfully his first experience had taught him a few things that made the next go around run much more smoothly. Like sitting. Sitting was much less strain on the legs. He also noticed that the latest tampon was not as...saturated as the first one he encountered, which he could only assume meant that he wouldn’t have to deal with her cycle that much longer. It had not even been a whole twenty four hours and he was glad it was lessening. 

That didn’t mean that he was off the hook with the feminine products though. And he really, REALLY didn’t want to deal with tampons anymore. So he made the decision to find the nearest drug store and find another solution to her feminine woes. 

Several layers of clothing later (he couldn’t go out in her cat pajamas, and he had...tried...with her bras...with no success, so he pulled on a thick sweater and a jacket over her pajama top) lead him to this moment. Standing in the feminine care aisle of the little store a few blocks away from her apartment, overwhelmed by the multitude of options. 

Words like ‘maximum absorption’ and ‘leak guard protection’ and ‘new discreet wrapper’ were like neon signs. Each one vying for his attention more than the next. He also didn’t know that there were different products for different flows and even an overnight version, which he snorted at because that would’ve been handy instead of stuffing a wad of cotton up her vagina like she was some kind of upside down bottle that needed to be corked. 

The mental image the thought gave him, made him snort and shake his head, and ultimately realize that despite his best intentions, he probably needed to ask Darcy what she preferred, rather than make the choice for her. 

So he texted her. And she was quick to reply with a call instead. 

“Taking me out in public, are we?”

He didn’t know what to say to that. He’d expected something along the lines of a ‘hello’ but he didn’t detect any animosity in her greeting - mostly amusement. 

“Am I not allowed?” He retorted in good nature. He kinda liked how easy it was to slip into an easy tease with her. 

“By the way, you should know that Nat is next to me and you are on speaker phone,” she warned, “so keep it clean, mister.”

“I’ve been nothing but respectful.” He smiled.

“That’s true, you are way too good for your own good.”

“That’s what I let everyone think.”

“Oh, really now?” Darcy coaxed, but he remembered Natasha was hearing every bit of their conversation.

So he redirected, “So, uh...I’m not sure what to get and thought it would be best to ask.”

“That was very considerate of you, Steve.” 

“If I’m being really honest, it’s mostly because I don’t know what to get. There’s a lot to choose from...”

Darcy laughed softly over the line, “Don’t worry, I got you.”

“So...which ones...” and he paused when he noticed a man standing a few feet away, trying to discreetly get his attention, “shit...”

“What? Shit what?” 

“I think I’m compromised.”

“What are you talking about?” Nat spoke up, “How would anyone know who you are in Darcy’s body.” 

He didn’t think of that. He usually thought anyone noticing him was because they recognized him. But now that he was in Darcy’s body...that wasn’t the case. So it left him confused as to what it could possibly be about. At least until the man approached him.

“Excuse me, miss? I hate to disturb you...but could you offer some suggestions? My daughter just started her...period...and I don’t know what to get.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys, so, so much!!! Your continued support astounds me! Even as I develop this crazy lil fic beyond more than I ever thought it would be! 😘❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
> 
> Since this whole project has been a big trope (bodyswap), I thought I would be fun to intermingle little tropes within, hence the drug store dad 😂  
> It’s also been fun turning the tropes somewhat on their heads, tying to figure out how to make it seem as plausible as possible, so that despite it heavily being a crack fic, it hopefully feels like it could be real. It’s been a new writing challenge for me! 😂 
> 
> As always, I hope you enjoy! 😘❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Steve was frozen by the man’s request, to the point that it appeared awkward that he didn’t give a verbal response right away. All the while he could hear Nat and Darcy muttering to each other in his ear, but he really couldn’t focus on what they were saying. He had been so prepared to fight his way out of some kind of skirmish - it was what he was used to when approached in a surreptitious manner. His focus had been on how he would respond in that sort of scenario, that he didn’t have any mindset for the actual situation at hand. 

“Miss?” The man asked again, though realized that Steve was holding a phone to his (Darcy’s) opposite ear, “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize...”

It gave Steve a little relief. Maybe he could pass off his initial inability to answer as part of a phone conversation. Which lead him to the idea of using the phone call to his advantage. 

“Just a moment,” Steve held up an index finger, hopefully reinforcing that he was in the middle of a call, before asking - maybe a little too loudly, “Sorry...Nat...which ones did you want?” 

The man didn’t need to know that Steve was asking for himself. He just hoped that whatever Darcy told him to get wasn’t too out of the norm for the man’s daughter. And he hoped that the two of them would catch on to what he was trying to do, despite that he was pretty sure he overheard Nat asking Darcy somewhat incredulously ‘Steve is having your period?’

It was a gamble, but one that he had to take. 

He wasn’t disappointed though when Darcy quickly replied, “Ultra thin with wings. Maybe grab some panty liners too. Make sure they’re unscented! Oh...and chocolate.”

It didn’t take him long to spot what she had instructed him to grab, so he just grabbed a extra of each and handed the extras to the man, “This is what my niece uses. This should be a good start. And some chocolate.”

“Ah, good idea.” The man took the pink packages, and tucked them under his arm, “thank you, and sorry to interrupt.” 

“It’s no problem.” Steve nodded, watching as the man walked away. 

“I can’t believe someone asked you for help with pads.” Darcy laughed, “but, I gotta say, you handled that pretty smoothly. Nice little white lie. And here Nat’s being saying you are horrible at being undercover.”

“Nat’s usually right,” Steve commented lowly after the man was out of sight, “Does that happen a lot? Getting asked for help with pads.”

Nat piped in, “That’s funny, Steve. Seeing as you’re doing exactly the same thing right now.”

“You know what, Romanoff...”

Darcy laughed, “To answer your question, no, not really. At least for me, the lady product aisle is a drive-by aisle, where I know exactly what to get so I can grab and go on the way to more merchandise that hopefully disguises the fact that I came in for my bleeding twat.” 

That was...amusingly succinct.

“So you’re saying I’ve been in this aisle too long? And that I should grab other things to buy?”

“I mean, you can if you want. But you’ve been in that aisle for way too long. Pretty much assume that everyone in the store knows that you are on your period...well technically my period, but they don’t need to know that...” Darcy started matter of factly, before adding, “And like, don’t go crazy! Try to leave some cash in my account for bills and stuff.”

“I wouldn’t do that to you.” 

“I know you wouldn’t. You can totally buy some chocolate peanut butter cups though. I usually crave those. My treat.”

“Oh, well then, if it’s your treat.”

“As fascinating as this whole dynamic is,” Nat chimed in again, “it may be better to save the flirting until after you two are back in your own bodies.” 

Leave it to Nat to say something to throw him completely off his base. He and Darcy weren’t flirting. Nat should know him well enough to know that he couldn’t flirt to save his own life. It was...he just...found it easy to fall into conversation with Darcy. Even when she was being astonishingly blunt, it was easy to keep their exchanges rolling. 

“Nat.” Steve warned. 

Natasha, as usual, was unfazed, “Anyways, you need to get back to Darcy’s apartment and pack a bag.”

“Wait a minute!” Darcy interrupted, “Where exactly are we going? And for how long? We haven’t even talked about that yet, and I can’t just disappear. Like, I have a job and...I mean, I know Steve can’t necessarily take my place, but...my boss is bound to notice if I don’t show up for a few days.”

“Don’t worry, that’s all being handled.” Nat attempted to reassure Darcy.

Which only made Steve all the more wary.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I’m sorry it’s been a few days since I’ve updated! I have been finding that since the chapters are growing longer and the fic itself is growing more complex, it’s taking me longer to develop each chapter. 
> 
> I am also trying to reply to your wonderful comments and support as best as I can when I’m not working or doing life things that take me away from writing this crazy lil fic. I am going to be honest, I’m a little overwhelmed with how much there is lol. I’ve never really experienced that in my experience writing fics! 😘❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
> 
> This chapter is more dialog driven, but it’s getting us and our swapped failboats where they need to go lol 
> 
> Also, I’ve been brainstorming with Lostdaemon again, and we’ve come up with some good stuff to come 😁

“What do you mean it’s being handled?” Darcy leveled a suspicious look at Nat after she ended the call with Steve. He had purchased the necessary supplies and she had told him that she would text him a list of what to pack when he got back to her apartment. 

“It just so happens that the person we need to see to figure out how to get you back to normal, heads up the most advanced scientific division on this planet.”

“Okaaaay...” She frowned, “That’s great and all, but how does that solve the disappearing Darcy problem?”

Before Nat could continue, however, Darcy beat her to it, “Speaking of...am I gonna like, doctors note my way out of this? I don’t even know how long this will take. What if it’s days? Weeks? How do I explain that?”

“Fortunately for you, the place we are going has an Observatory that your boss doesn’t even know exists. I’m not sure if she’s checked her emails lately, but an invitation has been extended to her.”

Darcy’s (Steve’s) eyes widened at the implication that Nat knew exactly who her boss was. Which in retrospect, shouldn’t have surprised her. The woman was a super spy after all. 

Nat wore a very subtly disguised smug grin, one that Darcy couldn’t quite read, “It’ll give you plenty of time to explain your situation.” 

“She’s gonna think I’m certifiable...”

“The woman that has had an on again, off again, back on again relationship with Thor is going to think you are certifiable?” Nat gave her an ‘are you kidding me’ expression that Darcy was pretty sure was a usual occurrence in her dealings with the Avengers. 

“Well maybe not me because I’m in Steve...oh my god...” she had a sudden realization, “She’s gonna meet him while he’s in my body isn’t she?” 

Nat smirked again, “It’s probably best if she knows up front. And if there’s any questioning as to your extended trip, it can be written off as work related.”

Darcy couldn’t help but still feel uncertain and it showed in her expression. Maybe even more so since it was Steve’s face. 

“We will figure this out. One way or another.” 

“One way or another, huh? Way to calm a girl’s nerves...” 

Nat just rolled her eyes and shook her head. That smirk she still wore was starting to get to Darcy, but she didn’t dare say it.

“Hey! You still haven’t said where we are going!”

“I haven’t?” 

“Okay, stop trying to play dumb. I’m not that stupid that I can’t see that you are trying to put off telling me where we are going?”

“I don’t think you are stupid at all.”

“Oh for fuck sake...” Darcy breathed an exasperated sigh, “Out with it, secret agent woman.”

Nat was quiet for a minute. And Darcy was pretty sure she was prolonging her silence on purpose. Who would’ve guessed that the world’s most dangerous spy was a gigantic troll. After a few more minutes of extra prolonged silence, Nat finally said one word.

“Wakanda.”

“Waka...wait. What?!”

“What were you expecting me to say?” 

“Uh...I dunno...” Darcy admitted, “I thought we’d be going to like that somewhat secret Avengers facility and I’d finally get to meet Dr. Banner and maybe even Tony Stark. I mean...I know the news says that they’re still feuding and stuff, but they would help, right?”

“Feud or not, you, and Steve especially, do NOT want Tony Stark to know about this.” 

She furrowed her (his) brows, not really sure how to interpret that last remark. And she really didn’t have the opportunity to ask about what Nat had really meant since Steve’s phone went off with a text. 

*packing now. any special requests?* 

She of course instantly thought of the usual phone charger, extra glasses, her usual gadget essentials like her e-reader and...

“Oh fuck...” 

Nat tried to choke back a laugh and appear as nonchalant as always, but Darcy had seen her little slip up out of the corner of her eye. 

“What?” 

“I’ve heard Steve swear before but I’ve never heard him openly use the word fuck.”

“Really?” 

Nat simply nodded with a small but amused smile still on her face, “Why the sudden ‘oh fuck’?”

Darcy could feel her (his) face start to burn in a tell tale blush. 

“I just realized something, is all.”

“It must really be something if it’s making you turn his face this red.”

She had no idea. And even though she didn’t know Nat all that well, she seemed like she had seen some shit in her life. Like all manner of shit...so Darcy felt like it wouldn’t shock her all that much to confide what made her flush so hard. Maybe surprise her a little. Maybe she’d think it was funny. It kinda was...

“He’s packing my clothes. Including underwear. And my...personal toys are in the underwear drawer.”

“Steve may seem naive, but he’s really not.” Nat simply stated, which honestly was not the reply Darcy had been expecting. 

“Relax Darcy. He’s been handling your personal hygiene and you’ve already jerked him off. Sex toys are hardly scandalous in the grand scheme of things.”

She had to admit, Nat did have a point. 

“Unless you’re worried he’s gonna use them.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends!!!! 😘❤️❤️❤️❤️ 
> 
> I really meant to post this one last night! But it was pretty late and I was pretty drowsy and needed to get up early for work lol
> 
> This chapter is a bit of a unanticipated departure from what I had originally planned, but I think this works better and fits the flow better. It also balances it...especially the next chapter which I’m halfway through 😁
> 
> That’s been one of the most challenging but fun parts of writing this. The original plan evolves into something else that usually ends up working better in the long run. Elements of the plan will still make it, but this fic has grown organically, much like I think Steve and Darcy’s body swap situation would 😂 
> 
> As always, I want to thank you all for your kind words of encouragement and your continued support as I write this crazy fic. I feel bad sometimes that I don’t have it all planned and written out, but then I think that the spontaneity serves it and you guys so much better ❤️

When Steve had gotten back to Darcy’s apartment, the first thing he did was head straight to the bathroom to get the tampon out, because he was NEVER using one again so long as he was in Darcy’s body. 

He however, learned the hard way, that it was not a good idea to remove a recently inserted tampon. Up until that point, his experience in what having a vagina felt like were just...different. Nothing too discomforting or painful. The first go around with a tampon had been...odd...but nothing that had him reflexively clenching muscles he didn’t know about until he felt her body...clamp down, for lack of a better phrase. 

It was too late, as he’d already pulled it out...but Steve worried that he had done something very wrong and hurt her because of his own desire to be rid of the damn thing. It was pretty damn selfish and he mentally kicked himself. 

The discomfort didn’t last long though. And perhaps because he was still a bit paranoid that he’d done something horribly wrong, he felt compelled to check the tampon and the toilet itself to make sure her body wasn’t hemorrhaging copious amounts of blood. He was surprised to see only faint traces and concluded that pulling out a dry tampon was something like ripping off a firmly adhered bandage.

He also noticed that there wasn’t much blood after peeing (he learned that when women pee during their period, the toilet water becomes red - and this time the water was only the slightest tint of pink). So it must’ve meant that Darcy’s cycle was apparently nearing its end, even though it wasn’t quite over. Which was more than a relief to him. Not that he had ever given a woman hassle for her having her cycle, but up to that point, he definitely did NOT know what one went through. He now had a deeply profound new understanding and appreciation for the opposite sex. 

All of which brought him to the newest quandary. 

Most specifically, when he was in the drug store, before he had ended the call with Darcy and Nat, Darcy had firmly recommended that he shower before any extended traveling. Something about the importance of being as clean and fresh as possible, and that he didn’t want to experience the worst degree of ‘swamp ass’ now that he had insisted on resorting to pads. 

Admittedly, he agreed that a shower would be a good idea. Already, his experience in dealing with her intimate areas, he felt like he just couldn’t get fully her clean with bath tissue alone. 

The problem he faced now was the fact that bathing her would involve getting her naked...and seeing her naked...and touching her naked...and...he hadn’t even turned on the shower yet...or removed a single thread of clothing...and while he had gotten partially naked to take care of things...her body was still shielded. But this time, he was about to see her fully nude...and he was already far more attracted to her than he should’ve been for being in her body. 

“Here goes nothing, I guess...” he muttered to himself as he kicked her leggings and panties asides he turned to face the mirror, oddly noting the strangely pleasing feeling that her loose shirt gave against her ass. 

Steve has never in his life given much thought to the differences in how men and women undress, but when he went to pull her shirt off how his own body was used to, it was awkward and unsuccessful. He hadn’t accounted for her breast, much less her hair to interfere and both were pulled against their natural state in his effort to get her completely unclothed. 

But when he did, he sucked in a gasp of air as he took in her nude reflection in the bathroom mirror, unable to hold back a swear, “Goddamn...”

Even before he’d seen her in all her glory, he knew she was beautiful. Her pajamas could only shield so much from his view, and try as he might, he couldn’t keep his thoughts from trying to envision what she would look like once those thin barriers were out of the way. 

For the most part his mind had been pretty spot on - full breats and perfect skin that looked soft to the touch, with full hips and thighs that he instantly thought of how it’d feel to grasp in his hands, and wrap around his hips and draped over his shoulders. Reality was even better and only made his thoughts dig themselves deeper into fantasies that he’d been trying his damnedest to hold back. 

As if of their own accord, he watched her hands raise to cup her breasts - only recognizing in the back of his brain that it was him, his mind was in charge, and he was the one feeling the soft weight of each breast, not only in how they felt in his (her) hands...but also in how her breasts...how they felt being held. How they felt when he shocked another gasp from himself as his (her) fingers brushed against her nipples. 

The subsequent and immediate rush of pleasure that settled low in his (her) belly...as well as the tantalizing new sensation of her clenching pussy was almost too much and he let his (her) hands fall somewhere...anywhere...so long as he wasn’t touching her body. Never mind that he still had a shower to get through...

“Fuck...”


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! 
> 
> So... this chapter was another challenge for me for similar yet new reasons lol 😂 
> 
> It is probably a tad bit more explicit that Darcy’s chapter. And it is a little bit more morally grey. I was torn with how to convey what is happening. I wanted to keep the idea of consent present within the story, and the way this chapter evolved just happened to be another facet of it. Also keeping in mind the new situations and feelings Darcy and Steve are experiencing respectively. They handle them in different ways and are different in how they communicate with each other. 
> 
> I hope that this is apparent, And that everyone enjoys this chapter 😊

The shower only made it worse. 

He thought that simply not looking in the mirror would be enough of a distraction that he could focus on simply getting her clean...and nothing more.

But, boy was he wrong. 

The wet curve of her breasts was one thing...and the way rivulets of water tended to stream right over her nipples in some raunchy display of gravity was another. But it was the gentle glide of her body wash over her supple curves that made him only want to keep touching. And not simply in a perfunctory manner. He wanted to savor not only the feel of her breasts...the dip in her waist...the swell of her ass...but also the sensations each body part felt. 

Especially when he smoothed his (her) hands over her ass. Her inner muscles would clench and it was just the slightest delicious little tease that made him inexplicably crave more...more pressure...more friction...

So his (her) hands had trailed to the sensitive skin where her legs and hips met...and he sucked in a breath as his (her) fingers edged teasingly closer to the thatch of dark curls where he knew exactly what to touch...what was aching for the attention he was suddenly hesitant to give. 

Was this fair to her? He didn’t ask if he could touch her this way. Even though he had given her permission to pleasure him while she was in his body...their wasn’t an explicit offer or reciprocity. He had a feeling she would be okay with it, but he still felt guilty no matter how good any of it felt. 

He was also at odds with the fact that she was still on her period, granted it was only a faint show of blood now...but her body was reacting to everything so much, and now that his mind was irrevocably down this very specific and naughty path, every sensation was a heightened plea for satisfaction. 

He hoped beyond all hope that Darcy would forgive him for this curiosity, this neediness, because he was pretty much at the point of no return.

“I’m going to hell...” He muttered as his (her) fingers dipped further between her legs, gasping as his (her) fingers found her clit.

There was a fundamental difference in touching and teasing a woman’s body and gauging her pleasure by her reaction...and feeling precisely what she felt. His own pleasure in his own body was...similar in some regards...but also so very, very different.

It was so sensitive. Almost too sensitive. Maybe it was also because he had become so accustomed to his own pleasure as a man, that it was almost too much and he had to stop. But the moment he did...he craved more. And so he gently stroked the little bundle of nerves...overwhelmed and amazed at the raw intensity of the sensations that one simple motion elicited. His (her) body quaked from the pleasure and he grabbed for something (the towel bar opposite the shower head) to keep from falling.

“Oh god...”

He stroked further along the lips of her pussy...letting his (her) fingers glide between her slick folds and marveling at even how sensitive she was there. Not nearly as sensitive as her clit...at least until he teased her opening...

It was an odd feeling...strangely pleasant...but he didn’t have a frame of reference to compare it to. Maybe the closest thing that his libidinous mind could think of was the feeling he had when he had curiously teased his own ass in his own body. Even then, this was different. Very different.

He also felt like he would be crossing an unseen line...more so than he already had if he slipped his (her) fingers inside...and her clit was already aching for more attention...so he stroked back up, finding a more potently intense rush of pleasure that only begged him to rub harder...and faster.

Steve’s (Darcy’s) hand was starting to cramp, but that didn’t stop him. Not even his questioning conscience could make him stop now. The build up was too good and he shook with equal parts exertion and anticipation. Physically shook. His (her) legs were shaking and he would have probably fallen over already if he wasn’t gripping the towel bar with a white knuckled grip. It may not have been the best course of action to let himself get this far in such a precarious position...but all of these newfound lustful reactions and sensations to his growing attraction to Darcy only spurred him on. 

Thoughts began to flood his mind the more vigorously he massaged her clit - of her laid out on his bed while he did what he was doing now...maybe she’d be tugging him off...maybe even sucking him off...her riding him, cock buried deep within her as she stroked herself in an openly wanton way, flushed and beautiful, pussy gripping him tight...him grasping her hips tightly to hold her down so he could cum inside...

The proverbial dam broke as her orgasm hit him far stronger than he had expected it too with wave upon wave of the most pure and condensed bliss - her wet warmth, thicker than the heat of the shower, flooded against his fingers. He could hear a keening moan and only half realized it was him...well Darcy’s voice, but it was him nonetheless.

“Fuck...fuck...” he whispered a hoarse gasp.

His (her) heart was pounding, and he could hear the rush of her blood as he panted, willing her breathing to calm while he dazedly inspected her fingers and let the spray of water rinse them clean.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey friends!!! I’m so sorry I haven’t updated for such a long while! 😭 
> 
> Things got a little crazy and hectic at work, and I had a stretch where I didn’t have many days off. I’m gonna have another one starting on Friday... 
> 
> My exhaustion is what did me in. I was so physically tired, I just had no spoons for anything. Barely enough for the next day at work lol 
> 
> These chapters are also growing!!! This is the first chapter in this fic over 1,000 words long!!! The first few that were posted on tumblr were pretty short understandably for format reasons, but each chapter has been growing as I get further into this crazy adventure 😂
> 
> This chapter was going to be different, but I felt like Steve needed a little time to his thoughts 😊
> 
> Anyways, I want to say thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart ❤️ for all the love and support for this crazy lil (I guess not so little anymore!) fic! I treasure all your kind words and hope you enjoy this chapter and each chapter to come! 😘❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Steve felt a multitude of things after his (Darcy’s) body came back down from its orgasmic high. 

For one thing, he had a very new - and first hand - appreciation for women’s pleasure. Not that he hadn’t before. Truth be told, he had always been eager to please any sexual partners. But it was one thing to guess what would excite and satisfy - never really knowing if he was truly giving the best he could - and experiencing the sensations first hand...as well as what most specifically gave the most intense gratification. 

It was a mind blowing experience all around. One that granted him better knowledge for future encounters (even if he did feel a little conflicted about that...there was the unavoidable fact that he couldn’t possibly forget what it felt like...to know exactly what kind of pleasure he’d be giving). 

Though, the most prevalent thing he felt was guilt. 

Part of him kept thinking that he should’ve talked to Darcy...before having his way with her body. No matter the fact that it was technically her body having it’s way with herself, he was still the current pilot and his mind had given the orders. 

But just the thought of talking to Darcy NOW was so...daunting. He wasn’t sure how to tell her, much less how to broach the topic. Talking with Darcy had been so easy before, but now...now that he knew how her body responded...now that he new what her pleasure felt like...it wasn’t so easy. 

The only thing that Steve could attribute his hesitancy to was that shame that he had done what he had done selfishly. Not even the naughty little thought of Darcy perhaps enjoying the task of satisfying his own body’s need for sexual release, could alleviate how he felt. 

But his thoughts were pushed just far back enough when felt the need to pee shortly after he finished the shower...shortly after he calmed down from the orgasm...

There was only a hint of her cycle remaining - enough to be relieved that it was nearly over, but also enough that he still needed the aid of feminine care products. And fortunately, the pads were easy to figure out as well as easy to use. 

It was a night and day difference between sticking the pad to her underwear and the tampons. Maybe the wings had been a little bit tricky at first, but he ultimately figured them out. Although, Darcy was right about them feeling like diapers, despite being the ultra thin kind. But he could deal with it. If he was able to deal with all the mortal wounds that had been dealt to him over the years, then he could deal with an absorbent pad between his (her) legs. 

He remembered then, despite his worry, that he still needed to pack. In fact, the whole shower (in which he should have only attended to Darcy’s hygiene and nothing else) was a result of the impending travel to get them back to normal. 

She hadn’t sent him the text she had promised to send with what she would need, and he wasn’t one to presume either... well he wasn’t normally. He had fucked up. He had been out of line. And he felt like shit for it. 

He stood in the middle of her bedroom simply staring at her phone, scared to tell her what he had done. And ashamed for being such a goddamn wimp. 

With a shake of his (her head) and a deep breath, he took the cowards way out, and sent an easy *packing now, any special requests?* letting his (her) thumb hover momentarily before sending. 

He didn’t get a response right away, and that only whittled at his anxiety even more. What if she knew? He had no precedent for being in another person’s body while they where in his, so his mind started to run rampant with countless what ifs that were ridiculously impossible - like mind reading...that couldn’t happen possibly happen...

But then again, his whole life after becoming Captain America should be considered impossible, and yet here he was...

“Could at least get fucking dressed...” he muttered to himself, still hoping and dreading that she’d text him back quickly.

But to both his consternation and relief, she hadn’t replied yet. And fortunately his continued wait for a reply actually gave him ample distraction and opportunity in figuring out how to get into one of her bras. 

It was the one thing he had neglected to put on in his haste to get to the corner drug store for her feminine necessities. There was elastic and lace and wire and hooks - tiny delicate little hooks - that were just a little too frustrating to deal with at the time. He figured it would be fine, he had covered up in enough layers that nothing was too...discernible...

What he hadn’t counted on - particularly on his speedy walk back to her apartment - was the exaggerated bounce of her breasts. Even with the multiple layers of clothing, he found himself crossing his arms over her chest and nearly sprinting just to be in the privacy of her home. A few men he had passed along the way, noticeably eyed him (her) and he wasn’t sure if it was because of her breasts that he had regrettably left free...or if it was simply because she was a beautiful young woman with striking features. 

In any case, he understood the discomfort of being ogled as a woman (it was different from what he’d experienced after the serum...similar, but different...). 

It took him a few different bras and a few tries to get himself situated - the lace ones were too confusing and the strapless one (he thought that might have been a less tedious option) was just...not...right...before he settled on a simple smooth cupped one with few embellishments that snapped in the front. He also learned once he got it on, that he needed to adjust things. One breast was slightly squished under the bottom of its cup, while the other was slightly billowing out the top. 

The best method he could think of was to reach in and position each one, checking in the mirror above her dresser as he did so, and snorting a laugh because he never thought women had to adjust themselves. At least not in the sense that men do, but in all honesty, having to reach in and wrangle her breasts into a position that didn’t look or feel weird, wasn’t too far off. 

A buzz from her phone startled him while he was making his last adjustments and he immediately pulled his (her) hands away from the soft plush warmth, a sudden rush of guilt and embarrassment rushing over him as his thoughts went right back to the shower...and the orgasm...

When he tentatively grabbed her phone, he had expected to see the promised text from Darcy, so he was understandably bewildered and when a person identified as ‘Thunder Queen’ texted.

‘you better be ready, cab will be there in 30 minutes, flight’s in three hours’.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! 
> 
> I’m so sorry that I keep taking longer and longer to get the next part posted! 
> 
> In all honesty this next part was a bit tricky for me to navigate. It’s very transitional. Which isn’t bad. Transitions are good and needed parts of stories. It was challenging because we’ve been in a certain setting for so long (even though it hasn’t been that long lol). I’m still a little uncertain that this part feels rushed in comparison to the whole of the fic.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy! I love and cherish all your support! 😘❤️❤️❤️
> 
> I’m already a quarter of the way through the next chapter too!!!

Darcy had almost forgotten to send Steve that text she promised. She had been so busy fretting about what he would inevitably find in her underwear drawer, that before she knew it, she and Nat had made it to the Avengers facility. Well, fretting about him finding those sex toys and the wildly slim chance that he could actually want to use them. 

She had sputtered like a fish when Nat said that, and Nat had simply grinned that smug little grin she grinned that Darcy was getting really close to wanting to smack off her face, if the woman wasn’t so damn terrifying. 

Their arrival at the compound, also reminded Darcy that Steve was still technically a fugitive. So, Nat had given her some aviators and a baseball cap, both of which Darcy gave her a look that said ‘really...’ because honestly...who were they gonna fool...

But despite his reputation, most of the staff and security were pretty lax about him (her) being there, which only helped prove her suspicions regarding the underhanded and calculated language of the Accords. She wasn’t the only one who had sided with Steve in his wariness of the document. And the ‘disguise’ was perfunctory, really, because Nat did most of the talking anyways. The most time they spent talking to anyone, was with Colonel Rhodes for about five minutes where Darcy shook his hand and then boarded an actual facts quinjet. 

It didn’t take long to get situated - bags stowed, buckled in - awaiting clearance for take off from the light crew the facility had on staff to service their aircraft. For Darcy at least. She was not versed in flying anything, so she let Nat do what she needed to do while she sat back and tried as nonchalantly as possible, to pull off her best Cap persona.

“Are you still worrying about Steve and your vibrators?” Nat asked - out of the blue - with that same aggravating self satisfied smirk.

“Or are there other things you’d rather he not see? Which, I hate to break it to you, he’s probably already seen them. As good a man he is...as Boy Scout-ish as he might seem, he’s far from innocent.”

“Says the woman who was surprised to hear him say the word ‘fuck’...” Darcy retorted defensively, hoping that the baseball cap and glasses were enough to hide the the heat she felt in her (his) face. 

She also busied herself by typing out a list of essentials to Steve. He seemed capable enough to figure out it out for himself, but she wanted to make sure that he packed things he didn’t pack for himself on a regular basis. Like bras. And her everyday bag. The one that basically carried her life in it. 

Nat was quiet for a moment, and Darcy thought she had lucked out, finally getting the advantage of the final word, when Nat figuratively and literally threw her for a loop - just as she sent off her response to Steve.

“Would it bother you if Steve did enjoy himself in your body?” 

She didn’t need to be explicit for Darcy to be able to read between the lines to know exactly what was implied. But nevertheless, she was dumbfounded...because truthfully, she hadn’t really thought about him doing anything of the sort since he was having to deal with her period. 

Darcy couldn’t help but gape at the spy, who simply raised her brows in anticipation of an answer - as if it were a normal everyday question and that she was carrying on a normal everyday conversation. Never mind that she had only known Darcy for the better part of a day...but then again, these were special circumstances...and once she got over the initial shock of the question, she quietly considered it.

“I...it would be pretty damn hypocritical of me to be mad at him. I mean, I did...do what I did...in his body.” She tried to reason, though her words faltered and she wasn’t sure why.

“Hypocritical or not, it would be understandable if you were bothered by him taking liberties in your body.” She wasn’t really sure what Nat was getting at and it frustrated her. 

It was obvious she was needling her, but the reason for the needling wasn’t obvious, and so she sighed in exasperation. 

“I wouldn’t be mad...how could I? Like...I felt things in his...in THIS body that were totally new and...overwhelming, so like...it’s not unlikely that he’s feeling things that overwhelm him. So I wouldn’t fault him for that. I gave him permission to take care of my period stuff, so he’s touched me already...” 

Darcy could tell Nat wanted to interject, so she hurried to finish, “I know you’re gonna say that period stuff is different, and yes that’s true...but if I hadn’t had any way of contacting Steve when I first woke up in his body...I would have eventually jerked off because yes, I would have been curious and I had been given golden opportunity on a silver fucking platter...” 

The memory of what it felt like to jerk off was still very fresh in her mind and a few unbidden mental images flashed across other mind - picturing Steve in his own body stroking his cock...imagining Steve in her body getting curious and doing what she had done...imagining being in her own body while Steve curiously and tantalizing teased her clit...

She shifted in her seat, his jeans feeling tight all of a sudden. 

Nat, being as irritatingly perceptive as she was, noticed. But thankfully she didn’t have a chance to reply right away, as the aircraft crew signaled that they were ready to take off, and Darcy was grateful for the brief reprieve in conversation. Though, it was just that. Brief. As soon as they got in the air, Nat brought up the topic again.

“Even though he hasn’t explicitly asked for your permission?”

Darcy stilled, taking in what Nat had said. 

“You don’t think he’s already...do you know something I don’t?”

Nat just raised a brow and shook her head, “You just said that you wouldn’t be upset.”

“I...said that...that’s not...” She suddenly couldn’t form thoughts, much less words, “but I’m still like, on my period...he wouldn’t while I was...would he?”

Nat gave her a look that didn’t really reassure her. 

“Besides...” she was just coming up with anything at this point - any reason why Steve wouldn’t want to experience pleasure while in her body.

“He got the short end of the stick...like I went from dumpy frumpy me to this...THIS...” Darcy gestured to her (his) body, “he got stuck with my thick thighs and fat ass...and like it’s been a really long time since I’ve been with anyone, so...I haven’t been trimming the bush lately...and...I wear pants or leggings all the time so my legs are hairy too...and I know I’m not old, but my boobs are definitely not as perky as they used to be...and, and...”

Nat just looked at her like she was crazy. And maybe she was, but...

“Oh god...the lower tummy pooch of shame...”


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!!!! 
> 
> I have a new chapter for you!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
> 
> You guys continue to overwhelm me (in a wonderful way) with all your love and support for this crazy little crack fic! Thank you so much for sticking it out this long with me. CAN YOU BELIEVE ITS 25 CHAPTERS????? I can’t believe I even did that!!!! 
> 
> I know some of you have seen or are going to see Avengers Endgame (I already saw it! And I won’t spoil anything!) so I wanted to assure you that Endgame is not a factor in this fun funny fic. This is purely for fun, and exists as it own thing, I only borrow tidbits to tie it to the general universe overall 😉
> 
> Anyways! I have started the next chapter, and I want to thank you guys for being patient while I write and update since it’s taking longer now that I’m writing the chapters longer 😘❤️❤️❤️

“What’s wrong with you?” Jane’s question brought Steve out of his thoughts, “You usually have a LOT more to say. You’ve been silent since we left your apartment.”

They were at the airport standing in the security line, bags slung over their shoulders, just waiting and waiting. Steve was still overwhelmed and just trying his best to keep up with the astrophysicist on a mission. 

He’d been in the middle of getting dressed and packing Darcy’s bag when she had pounded on the door, telling him to hurry up. When he had opened the door, probably looking frazzled having just pulled on one of Darcy’s baggy sweaters, Jane didn’t even offer a greeting as much as she just swept into the apartment and gawked at him (still under the impression that he was Darcy) demanding to know why he hadn’t packed yet. He had tried to brush it off as having a bad morning, to which Jane simply rolled her eyes. When in reality he had still been reeling from the sheer pleasure he’d stolen from Darcy’s body without her permission.

And subsequently, the fact that Darcy was the assistant (and apparently close friend) to Dr. Jane Foster, renowned astrophysicist, blew his mind. It perhaps explained Darcy’s eclectic little collection of Avengers merchandise and apparel, including the Cap panties. Although, he didn’t see any other Avengers themed underwear...but he tried to brush aside that thought. There were too many metaphorical cans of worms opened, and he didn’t need to open any more...

“I...uh period.” 

He hated to rely on that excuse. Not only because that wasn’t true (because, how the hell would he explain that he was...him) but he felt he was in no position to presume he could use that excuse. It pretty much made him feel like an ass. 

Jane gave him a very disbelieving look and his (her) heart nearly stopped, until she snorted, and rolled her eyes, “Oh, we’re really using that excuse, huh?”

Steve didn’t know what to do, didn’t know how to respond, even though he had gotten a very good sense of Darcy’s personality and mannerisms from the conversations he had with her. There was still this disconnect of hearing her through his own body and voice, and that disparity was just enough to question how well he could pull off acting like her. Never mind the fact that he didn’t even need Nat to tell him that he was bad at acting, he knew that for himself.

Thankfully, he was saved from answering, as well as Jane’s scrutiny by a plastic tray being shoved into his (her) hands and being briskly instructed on what to personal items to place in the tray. Jane and the people behind them received the same instructions and conversations were halted across the board as everyone went through the motions of getting through the security check as quickly and painlessly as possible. 

Once through the check, he was putting Darcy’s boots back on, still a little jumpy from the events earlier that morning - and the fact that one of the security agents metal detector wands went off right around his (well...Darcy’s breast’s) thanks to the wire in her bra. To top it all off, agent that had been going through his (her) bag raised a brow and leered at him suggestively. 

Over the years - both his own generation and the new one he had become a part of - Steve has received his fair share of appreciative glances from members of either sex. Mostly...well, all after the serum had packed on another hundred or so pounds of height and muscle. But this...the way that this security agent eyed him (her) down was...unsettling. 

Jane was a bit further back, just now going through the standing metal detector, when the agent unzipped the duffel bag that carried the clothes and shoes that Steve had haphazardly stuffed into the bag in a rush to appease Jane who was all but herding him out the door into the waiting cab to get them to the airport in a timely manner. 

Steve could not imagine what the agent would need to open his (her) bag for...he knew for a fact that everything within it was permitted in carry on luggage. After all, it was just a bunch of clothing. He wondered if it was possibly the bras that had set it off, but he learned quickly what it was as Jane walked over, trying to balance as she put her shoes back on. 

“I’ll have to ask that you keep this item stowed during flight.” The agent smirked as he partially pulled out a bright pink vibrating dildo - before tucking it back in the wad of underwear that it must have been hidden in when Steve had grabbed the handful in his hurry to pack the damn bag. The bastard then had the audacity to lower his voice so only Steve could hear, “If you have the time, I could give you some real meat, a little pre flight entertainment. I go on lunch in ten.”

Steve’s face was burning. He was fuming with indignation. He couldn’t believe this son of a bitch had just said what he had said, and he could only gape angrily for a moment before he started to say something, only to have the words catch in his throat as Darcy’s voice came out instead. 

He would never say that he was particularly witty, at least it didn’t come naturally to him in the sense that it seemed to for others. But he had his moments. And this was one of them as he realized that being in Darcy’s body gave him the perfect turndown. That, and he was fucking pissed off. 

“Not even if I wasn’t bleeding between my legs right now,” and it was satisfying watching the agent blanch at Steve’s words, “and by the way, fuck you.”

The agent quickly zipped up the bag, and practically shoved it at Steve, noticeably avoiding eye contact, which was fine with him. Steve really wanted to teach him more of a lesson, but he also didn’t want to get Darcy hurt or arrested. And that pissed him off even more. 

“Now that sounds more like you.” 

Jane’s comment startled him out of his angrily brewing thoughts, “huh?”

She threw her heavy bag over her own shoulder and nodded in the direction that they needed to go.

“Telling airport security to fuck off.” Jane clarified, “I was beginning to get worried, especially when you didn’t say anything about the cab drivers lead foot.”

The cab driver had been going ridiculously fast and had been weaving in and out of traffic with a level of skill that was frighteningly astonishing. And being who he was, Steve wasn’t all that shocked by it, until the safety of Darcy’s body came into question. He was so used to being in his own body - the one that he had spent so long getting used to when the serum had enhanced it tenfold - that he would do things or think things and his mind would still believe he was in his own body. So it was understandably jarring when his voice would come out as Darcy’s, not to mention how people perceived and acted towards him. 

In any case, as they made their way to the correct gate, he was relieved his own impetuous reaction to the asshole security agent, seemed to convince Jane that he was Darcy. At least for the time being. He still had a whole flight ahead of him, and he had the daunting task of keeping up with pretending to be Darcy...or deciding how best to tell Jane that he was...well, him.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends!!!! 
> 
> I want to apologize again for the time between updates!!!! Between Endgame, Game of Thrones, and work, I’ve been a little overwrought lol 😂 
> 
> But worry not! I have the seeds of the next chapter planted! And I have a new crack fic on the horizon! And I have so many ideas floating in my brain in the wake of Endgame! My muse is well fed right now lol
> 
> I want to thank you guys again, so much, from the bottom of my heart for the love and investment you put into this crazy little fic. I’m loving writing it and it brings me joy to give happiness through word art 😘❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter! It is a wee bit nsfw 😁

They hadn’t been in the air long, but they had already traveled a greater distance than they would have in a normal airliner. 

It was quiet now, and it gave Darcy some time to reflect on the way that Natasha had just practically threatened her about being down on herself about the things she wasn’t happy with about her body. Not in a overt way. 

It had been a very subtle threat that Darcy didn’t quite catch, and in fact, she kept fretting about the things that Steve would see and find off putting to the point that he couldn’t possibly want to...couldn’t possibly be turned on in any capacity. So she didn’t catch it until Nat had told her that she had no compunction in kicking Darcy’s ass while she was in Steve’s body. 

Darcy hadn’t been sure if the super spy had been joking or serious, which was all the more unsettling. At least until Nat gave her a small smile that held more warmth than she normally let through and told Darcy that her fears were ‘ridiculously unfounded’ because everything about her was ‘one hundred percent Steve’s type’. 

Nat must’ve known that she was shook, because she gave her another one of her (at this point patented) knowing smiles and let her simply sit bewildered as she let the revelation sink in. 

But Darcy still couldn’t wrap her head around it. She couldn’t possibly be his type. Like...he was way too fucking attractive to be interested in someone like her. And as much as her mind tried to refute what Nat had told her, images of Steve in her own body testing the limits of what pleasure he could, manifested in her mind. It was both strange and...arousing. 

He would know what it felt like to play with her breasts, as well as what it felt like to tease her nipples into a state of almost over sensitivity. He would know exactly how sensitive the skin at the crease of her hip and thigh was. He would know how it felt to be wet. How it felt to slip his (her) fingers between her folds and gasp at the sharp jolt of pleasure after just one stroke of her clit. How he’d need more friction because once you start...

She groaned, her thoughts so far into the vision that it had conjured that she nearly forgot that she was not alone. That she was sitting on a high tech jet next to the most badass and deadly super spy assassin in the world and had just fucking moaned. At least until said spy cleared her throat, drawing Darcy from her own imagination. 

“Need a little privacy?” Nat asked, with raised brows, as she nodded towards Darcy’s lap.

She didn’t even need to look down to know that she had an erection. She could feel his cock straining against his jeans, and her (his) cheeks burned at Nat’s acknowledgement of it. 

“The lavatory is tight...but I think you can manage.” 

Darcy groaned again. This time in humiliation, thunking her (his) head back against the headrest of the seat, “This is so fucking embarrassing...”

“It’s only natural.” 

Darcy looked over with a incredulous glare, paused for a moment before gesticulating overtly to the body she was in. The one with the achingly stiff cock in its pants. 

“Nothing about this is natural.” 

Nat chuckled low, shaking her head, nodding to Steve’s dick again, “I meant your reaction to whatever you were thinking. That’s natural. It’s not always convenient, obviously. Much easier to hide in a woman’s body, huh?”

“Can we not talk about this?” Darcy said as she closed her (his) eyes, scrunching her (his) nose in some absurd attempt to will the whole situation away. 

Or at least will Steve’s errant dick to chill the fuck out.

“Darcy. Go take care of it.” Nat ordered firmly, “I’m not judging you. There’s no need to make yourself miserable.” 

“Ugh...but it’s so messy...”

Nat made a face, “Yeah, I don’t need details.”

With a heavy sigh, Darcy unbuckled the straps of her seat, shifting forward and hissing as the movement made Steve’s pants constrict his erection in a way that was bordering the threshold of pain and pleasure. 

“Okay, so I’ll just uh...I’m just gonna...do the thing...again...” She nodded towards the lavatory, “and die of mortification...”

“I somehow think you’ll manage to live.”

“Easy for you to say...” Darcy replied with a grumble, trying her best to conceal the bulge in Steve’s pants. At that point she was not above using her (his) hands to cover it as she hurried rather awkwardly to the lavatory at the rear of the jet. 

It was a tight fit, she’s already bumped her (his) elbows twice just getting the door shut and locked. Not that she thought Nat would burst in, but sill...

Frustrated in more ways than one, Darcy impulsively pulls Steve’s phone from his pocket to shoot a quick pic of the bulge and send it off to Steve in a bold and succinct text that says *DUDE THIS IS GETTING OUT OF HAND* before setting it down on the edge of the small sink. 

It really was getting out of hand, but it was too far gone at this point to just forget about it. She remembered how long her first hard on in his body had lasted, until she quite literally took the situation into her (his) hands. Sucking in a breath of anticipation, she leaned back against the wall of the small space and carefully unzipped his jeans, shoving both jeans and underwear down just enough for his cock to spring free. And holy fuck...that felt so weird but so good at the same time. 

“I better not have some kind of identity crisis after all this...” Darcy mumbled to herself, drawing a sharp intake of breath at the warmth of her tentative grasp, and moaning as she reacquainted herself with the feel of him. Which only turned her on even more...because his voice was sultry on a normal basis, rich and deep, but it was sinfully erotic now...and it only made her want to eventually have the opportunity to do this to him for real, in their own respective bodies. To REALLY make him moan, and hear it coming from him...in his own body. 

She grasped his cock more firmly, stoking up from base to tip, giving a curious little graze of the tip, fascinated by the strange and exhilarating sensation it elicited. Now she knew why men liked that. There was something familiar about it, almost like teasing her clit, but...different. 

Movement just to her side caught her attention and she looked up, heart racing because she would be so fucking ashamed to be caught like this. But it was only her (his) reflection in the mirrored wall above the small sink. 

“Sweet fucking mercy....”

Darcy already knew what he looked like, and she knew what sexual pleasure felt like in his body. Just, up until that point, never that the same time. It had never occurred to her that she could watch herself in his body, and she started stroking quickly and more firmly, chasing the orgasm that was embarrassingly close now that she could put the whole picture together. 

And what a fucking beautiful picture it was - beautiful and dirty. Large, strong hands. Forearm muscles taught, abs tense. Mouth open and eyes fuck drunk. It was almost to much, and she was so tempted to close her (his) eyes, but she didn’t. 

The wave and wash of pleasure hit so hard and suddenly that she gave a shout, completely captivated by Steve’s orgasm face as his thick cum hit the sink. 

And totally oblivious to the new text that popped up on his phone.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends!!!! 😘❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
> 
> So this chapter came together with elements that I had planned, and some that I had not, although I think those unplanned elements make the whole thing better 😁
> 
> I also struggled with the whole ‘is this going to far’ thing. But then I reminded myself that it’s cracky and bodyswap and that it 10000% should be over the top 😂 
> 
> Anyways, as always, I thank you so much for your continued support and love of this crazy little fic. Well, not so little any more! But nevertheless, thank you! 🥰😘❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ 
> 
> I hope, despite whatever fandom drama is going on, that this funny lil fic gives you some brightness and enjoyment!!!

They’d only been on the flight for two and a half hours and Steve was already over it. 

He rarely ever flew commercially - most of the flights he’d ever been on were either military, Avengers related, or private. Naturally he was no stranger to flying - it wasn’t his favorite mode of transportation for...personal reasons...but it was the quickest way to go long distances. And they had a long way to go. 

If there was ever something that he didn’t like, he preferred to be in control of it, which is why he was less wary of flying on mission. That way he could know just about everything that was going on and could think quickly on his feet if something were to go south. 

But this situation - packed like sardines on this airliner, with mostly civilians and only a handful of people that were qualified to operate the it - frayed his nerves to a point they hadn’t been in a long time. Everything was beyond what he could tangibly control...down to the fact that he was in Darcy’s vulnerable body...and he’d never forgive himself if something happened to her.

He sighed heavily, looking just to his left to see Jane engrossed in something on her tablet, when the large man to his right shifted in his seat, spread his legs, and elbowed Steve right in the side of Darcy’s breast. Which hurt a lot more than Steve expected it to...drawing a hiss of pain and a few choice words from his (her) mouth. But it didn’t phase the man one bit. He just continued to make himself comfortable, smirking at Steve’s reaction. 

Steve was never one to just let something like that go. It didn’t matter if it was subtle or plain as day - behavior like that, really pissed him off. This man was a bully, and that pissed him off even more.

“He’s not worth it.” Jane said lowly, just enough for Steve to hear. She was still focused on the data she was working on, so he didn’t catch the way she glanced over out of the corner of her eye until she did it again. 

Her observation caught him by surprise because she had been so completely absorbed in her work, that he figured she wasn’t paying attention. Which left him feeling relieved that he had been able to haphazardly pull off Darcy’s reactions and mannerisms in a way that she hadn’t seen through yet. Though, despite how much he hoped against all odds that his ruse would hold...he could tell Jane knew her friend very well, and that left him anxious as to whether he should keep pretending or simply tell her. After all, she was going to find out soon enough. It was foolish to think other wise. 

A text buzzed through Darcy’s phone, drawing his attention out of his mire of thoughts. 

Steve had a feeling that it was probably Darcy, and he tried to look surreptitiously to his right, out of the corner of his (her) eye, just to make sure the man with no sense of personal boundaries wasn’t being nosy. He furrowed his (her) brows in distaste when he noticed the man overtly scratch at his groin, heedless to the fact that he was in public. Some things were just meant to be done in private. And that was one of them. 

With a sigh and a shake of his (her) head, Steve thumbed her phones lock screen open, and nearly lost his (her) breath from the shock of the image that was attached to a very bolded text that read *DUDE THIS IS GETTING OUT OF HAND*. Granted she was still wearing his jeans, but it was very clear that she was hard with the way the fabric strained over his cock. 

Of all the things that could have popped up on her phone, his own dick was the last thing he’d expected...and he could only stare at the screen dumbfounded...unable to believe that she had the balls to actually send it. 

Well, technically...she had his balls...but regardless...

He honestly wasn’t sure what to do. The text that had accompanied the glaring image, made it clear what she felt, though why she chose to send him a picture what beyond any rational thought he could muster. Even then, he had to agree with her text...it really was getting out of hand. And the only thing that he could sensibly think of, regarding her vehement feelings about his dick...was to send back a text that simply said...*then take care of it*

The phone buzzed again, this time with another text and image, that made his (her) face burn hot and red. 

*yeah so there must’ve been a reception delay because I already did* 

In the picture, there was a familiarly small metal sink, splattered with what he could only assume was his cum...

*and I made a mess*

He could only gawk wide-eyed at the screen of her phone...because she really did...

*why are you sending me pictures???* He managed to send back, despite his shock. 

Another text popped up, *so you can commiserate with me in my humiliation* 

Followed quickly by, *its only fair*

At that response, he was ready to send a text about her period and the ordeal he went through with her damn tampons, when he suddenly recalled the liberties he took with her body. The liberties that he hadn’t spoken with her about. 

That alone, gave him pause as his mind tried to come up with a response, only to draw up blank, and instead absently scroll back up to the incriminating picture...not quite able to fully believe what he was seeing. Well...this new turn of events, at least...

“What the fuck, Darcy!” Jane hissed lowly, making him nearly jump out of his (her) skin.

“Shit...” He clicked the phone off, thankful for the sudden blank darkness on the screen. Even though he had no reason to be relieved. Jane had seen enough to make some pretty damning conclusions.

“Please tell me that I’m horribly misreading whatever...situation that was...” Jane whispered strongly and waved her hands emphatically, “...and that you aren’t seriously sexting on this plane. In the open. Right next to me.” 

“It’s not what you think...” He whispered back.

Jane just stared at him.

“No. It’s REALLY...not what you think...” He tried to reason. 

“Then what am I thinking?”

“...that...your friend is...uh...how do I put it...” Steve glanced at the passenger to his right, whispering even lower, “...this may not be the best time for this conversation...”

“Oh, but it’s a good time for sexting?” 

“...uh...it really isn’t...THAT...”

Jane looked exasperated before she stopped, eyes going wide and snatching the phone out of his (her) hand.

“Is that...Captain America?!”

Steve snatched the phone back before Jane could scroll any further, to see that the picture had indeed captured a reflection of him...well Darcy as him...holding the phone up to send her evidence to him, no doubt. Only she apparently didn’t realize that she had inadvertently captured herself (himself) in reflection...pants down and cock still out....

His (rather, her) heart pounded in his (her) ears, and his (her) cheeks burned so damn hot, he was starting to sweat. There was no mistaking what the image was, and he had to admit he was kind of impressed that Jane even caught it. She was far more observant than he’d given her credit for, and that made him all the more nervous.

Because he still hadn’t broken the news about him being...him in Darcy’s body...and he wasn’t sure the middle of a trans-Atlantic flight was the best place to do it. So he did the only thing he could think of, and confirmed the half-truth in the picture. 

“Yes...yes it is.”


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends!!! ❤️❤️❤️
> 
> I’ve been so bad about replying to you lovely wonderful comments lately and I’m so sorry!!! 
> 
> I had a lot going on right before I went on vacation, and then I was on vacation, and I was on the go all the time lol...anyways there’s no excuse. I will get my ass back on track!!! 
> 
> This chapter was tough for me to get together, especially with all the stuff that kept me occupied out of fic writing! It was also tricky for me, because I know that you guys want to see Steve and Darcy together already! And believe me I do to!!! I just want to smoosh the two of them together and let them go at it! 
> 
> But that wouldn’t serve the story, the characters, or you guys well at all, so I had to push the story forward, we gotta get that getting there part in 😂 
> 
> I also wanted to let you guys know that I am cooking up some other cracky and fluffy Shieldshock goodies! In addition to this one! I’m pretty excited about, and hope you will enjoy those as much as you guys have shown so much love and support for this crazy fun fic 🥰😘❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Darcy had no concept of how much time had passed since she...well, since she jizzed all over the tiny bathroom sink of the quinjet’s lavatory. 

After she had came back down from the floaty feeling of orgasm, she became more cognizant of Steve’s phone buzzing next to the mess she had made. And she immediately burned with embarrassment as her sex addled mind was reminded of its horny impulsiveness in the form of a fucking text of his fucking bulge in his fucking jeans...that honestly didn’t do much to obscure the fact that she had been hard. 

The resulting series of texts had been an even more surreal experience than this whole body swapped situation had been. She wasn’t sure why she sent him a text of the mess she had made - as proof, maybe? But nevertheless, she played it off as a coping mechanism to the fact that she was really enjoying the pleasure she found in his body. It was new and novel (to her at least) and she almost couldn’t get enough of it...no matter how much her mind tried to deny it. She just couldn’t get over that it felt fucking fantastic. 

And honestly the ensuing text convo had been kinda hilariously distracting. Enough for her to gather her wits that had been so spectacularly expelled by a quite literally, mind-blowing climax. 

There wasn’t much in the small confined space to clean up what she’d done - just the toilet paper and paper towels that were customary on most aircraft. Which made her feel bad and self conscious because...there had to be some kind of something that she could use to clean up...maybe in a first aid kit? 

But first thing, first. She needed to get his not so little man bits back in his pants. And that had already been an awkward process before. This time was no different, maybe even more weird given that she (he) wasn’t freshly showered and he was still kinda stiff. And the zipper made her nervous...

So she left it alone for just a moment to clean up the bathroom a bit, thinking that maybe if she just stopped thinking about his dick (it was a really nice dick...perhaps enhanced your the serum like the rest of him...but left medically unaltered...).

She was nearly done with her cursory cleaning of the surfaces she had sullied and just about to go find something that she could really clean the sink with, when another text came through. 

*btw jane thinks you are sexting Captain America*

It took a minute for what he was saying to click in her head. Partly because, despite having a ridiculously rare opportunity to get to know him, it was weird knowing that he knew what sexting was. 

Like...this whole time he’d honestly been a champ about her period and dealing with her lady bits, but he still seemed to clam up a bit when conversations veered into a more crude territory. She couldn’t help that she still battled some preconceived notions of him. Even though he pretty much dashed them all. In one way or another. It was still a tough mindset to break when she knew that the man - whose body she was inhabiting - was a hundred years old. Which was kinda silly, since age typically yielded more life experience...

The other part was how Jane factored into this new revelation. Because the only way that Jane would think she was doing what he’d texted is if...

Fuck...  
That was not good. A recipe for some kind of disaster surely...

*HAVE YOU EVEN TOLD HER ABOUT THE SWAP THING?????*

She stopped everything that she was doing, she hadn’t even zipped up his pants yet - even left soiled paper towels in the sink basin - as she waited with baited breath for his reply. 

When it came, all it said was, *there hasn’t been a good time*

And that confirmed it.

*WTF STEVE*

A million thoughts began to race around her mind. Though, the most coherent ones revolved around Jane thinking that Darcy was herself. 

*didn’t have the opportunity everything happened really fast* Steve answered back, followed up with, *and mostly in public*

That confused her. What did he mean by public...

Maybe her interactions with Nat had colored her expectations of how Steve would interact with Jane. Nat was perceptive as fuck, so naturally she knew right away that Steve wasn’t himself and was otherwise occupied by Darcy. Jane on the other hand...

She was scarily smart, but she tended to hyper fixate on things to the exclusion of everything else. And if Steve has already managed to evade notice of the general public in her body, Darcy could kinda see why he hadn’t brought it up. 

*you need to tell her* she texted, *i mean... im not bothered if she thinks im getting some from you on the regular*

And because her verbal filter was an absolute zero regardless spoken or texted, she sent a flurry of messages. 

*but she will notice eventually*  
*my track record was never great*  
*guys don’t find me appealing*  
*or just the wrong guys did*  
*i got a little...perpetually single*  
*anyways*  
*shes gonna get suspicious*

Only after they had been sent did she scroll over them only to groan as she realized that he probably didn’t need to know the pathetic details of her personal life. Then again, he’d been charged with duty of her pussy care, so...

Another text from him popped up, startling her just a bit.

*i think I better wait till we land*

Well, that was probably a good idea. She knew how Jane could get. Especially with something like this.

*thats probably for the best* 

Then as she thought about it, it dawned on her...

*wait why does she think I’m sexting you?*

While she waited for his reply, she finished getting his clothes back in proper place and discarding of the dirty paper towels. She couldn’t put her mind on what would lead Jane to that assumption. All she had sent was a picture of Steve’s clothed dick - and his cum - not actual Steve himself. It had only been an impulsive whim. A look-at-this ridiculousness-and-suffer-with-me-haha type of thing that she couldn’t really pin-point the exact reason for sending. 

When his phone did buzz again, it simply said *second image has my reflection*

“What...” She whispered in question to herself. There was no way...

And with a heated sensation in her (his) cheeks and a rapidly beating heart, she scrolled back to the supposedly incriminating pics she had sent. When she found them - rather the one - she saw with wide eyes exactly what he was talking about. 

“Oh my god...” 

All she could do was stare at the screen, where details that she hadn’t noticed before in her post-climax haze, were very clear now. Details beyond his cum that she spilled...details like the reflection of his bare and slightly-more-than-proportionate-to-his-body cock...

Oh. And his fucking face. All blissed out.

And now Jane thought that she was sexting Steve. Rather, sexting Captain Fucking America.

The jet’s intercom broke into Darcy’s thoughts, making her nearly jump out of Steve’s skin. 

=Darcy? Okay in there?= Nat’s voice didn’t sound as concerned as much as she sounded amused =Just a heads up. We are going to be landing in about an hour=

“Shit...already?” She cursed under her (his) breath, as she was hit with a sudden wave of nervousness that had nothing to do with what she had just been doing. Or the most recent string of texts with Steve. 

At least not entirely. 

=Make sure to clean up after yourself=

Darcy just glared at the general vicinity of where the sound of Nat’s voice was coming from, like she could somehow mentally convey a ‘piss off’ vibe. Not that it would phase her in the least...but she could imagine at least. 

Another text from Steve popped up on the screen, once again pulling her attention against the vein of thought it was following. 

*Jane is Thor’s jane?* 

Huh?

Had he really just put the puzzle pieces together? She would have figured that he would know Jane Foster. Or at least, head of her. 

*yep* She replied, *you didn’t know?*

*only ever heard Thor talk abut her, never met her before*

*so wait...how’d you figure it out???*

There was a pause in which she thought of every possible scenario in which he learned of Jane’s connection to the Avengers without revealing his identity at a thirty five thousand feet cruising altitude. 

The response that she got...was not the one she had expected. 

*she said my dick is as big as thor’s*


End file.
